


With You I'm Safe

by Phandiction



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Chaptered, Coming In Pants, Coming Out, Eventual Smut, Fluff, Grinding, Heavy Angst, M/M, Physical Abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-16
Updated: 2016-12-16
Packaged: 2018-09-09 01:54:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 22,204
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8871151
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Phandiction/pseuds/Phandiction
Summary: Dan seems to have enemies everywhere. Abuse comes from his father at home as well as a bully at school. A boy he's never met, Phil, saves him from the bully one day and it sparks a friendship in which both rely heavily on. Dan often escapes his father's rampages by slipping into Phil's bedroom window. Deeper feelings toward each other are realized and expressed but with it comes harsher treatment from Dan's father.





	1. Chapter 1

 

_Shit! Got to go got to go NOW. But where? Where can I hide in a school full of people that probably wouldn’t mind seeing me beat up?_ Dan slowed his furious running just enough to turn the corner at the end of another hallway and then he was off again, shoving his way thought the crowd of teens. He deeply regretting the black hoodie he had decided to wear today. It now felt twenty pounds heavier and caused sweat to bead on his forehead. He couldn’t complain too much as it was soaking up the blood from his nose.

                He had gotten a good head start ahead of Arran as soon as he realized the bully’s intentions but not before the larger boy got in a solid punch. He couldn’t hear Arran yelling his name anymore but he  also couldn’t be too far behind. He wasn’t exactly the kind of person to let someone humiliate him and get away with it. Dan, by not allowing him to beat him to a pulp in front of the entire school and instead slipping out from under him was considered just that.

                Panic burned in Dan’s chest when he realized he didn’t exactly have a destination and he was running out of school hallways to dart down. Was there anywhere for him to effectively hide? The gym maybe? A random classroom? _Can I fit in a locker?_ He wondered. _Yeah right._ He was so screwed. He mine as well just stop and put his hands up because there was no way-

                “Shit!” He realized he was going to fall on his face going around this corner. He couldn’t slow in time. His body prepared for the fall. Only he didn’t fall on his face. Instead he brutally collided with another body. Both toppled over, slamming into the cold hard floor of the school. The other person shrieked and their books scattered around them. Dan leaped to his feet despite feeling pain in several places.

                “Oh my god I am so so so sorry. I just-well never mind. Here.” He used one hand to cover his bloody nose and the other to quickly gather the boy’s books and shove them into his lap. The person he had annihilated lay on the floor leaning on one elbow with a look of complete horror on his pale face.  He shook his black fringe from out of his face and looked up at Dan blankly. He still hadn’t said anything. He was just kind of watching Dan with these green-no, blue, blue eyes. Was he mad? Dan couldn’t tell. He grabbed the strangers unsuspecting limp arm and pulled him roughly onto his feet. The books fell off again and the boy barely managed to stay standing.

                Suddenly Dan heard Arran yelling for him. Dan peeked around the corner to see the bully running down the hall toward him. His face was flushed red with furry and he was going to take it all out on Dan right here. Dan turned back to the boy he had knocked down.

                “I am really sorry but I have to go.”

                “I’m guessing your Dan.” He said, attempting to fix his hair.

`               “Uh huh. Now bye.” Dan swung around to start running again but the boy grabbed his arm so he that he had to turn back. He stared at Dan’s face for a moment as if debating something. Dan didn’t want to sound mean but he had to go _now_. “Look I-”

                The boy interrupted him. “I know where you can go. Follow me.” Keeping a hold on Dan’s arm he lead him quickly down the hallway past several doors before choosing one and pushing it open. He pulled Dan inside and quickly pushed it closed. The room was used for storage. There were unused desks, chairs, shelves filthy with dust and filing cabinets.

                “Here.” The boy pointed at a door at the back of the room. Dan opened it, saw that there was enough room for him and walked into the dark closet.

                The boy started closing the door but Dan stopped him. “Wait! Thank you.”

                “Don’t mention it. Arran isn’t exactly known for being the nicest guy in school.”

                “That’s for sure. What’s your name?”

                “Phil. Nice to meet you Dan but while you hide in this closet for the next ten minutes I have to go to class.”

                Dan laughed. “I guess I’ll be late huh. Well thanks again.”

                Phil closed the door and Dan listened until he heard the classroom door shut also.

 

Dan did as Phil suggested and stayed in the closet for ten minutes. He was able to then sneak through the empty halls to his locker where he removed the blood and sweat soaked hoodie. He went to the bathroom to clean up his face before arriving very late to his first class where he was met with the annoyed glare of the teacher and judging eyes of the students.

                Through the rest of the lesson Dan couldn’t help but think of Phil. Why had he helped Dan? No one ever helped Dan. Not when Arran pushed him around the halls or when he came to school with bruises from his father. Instead, when they saw the scars on his back after games the guys would stare and whisper to one another. They thought he caused them himself.

                Dan figured since he hadn’t recognized Phil that the boy must not be in any of his classes or possibly in a different year but when he walked into his next class there he was, towards the back chatting to the person beside him. Dan was so shocked to see him that he forgot Arran would also be in this room. Just as he was about to wave at Phil he saw the bulky figure of Arran in his peripheral and quickly swiveled.  Arran was standing a few feet away, fists clenched and ready to devour Dan’s soul.

                “Dan.” He growled, sounding more like a wolf than human.

                Someone’s hand fell on Dan’s shoulder from behind causing him to flinch. He turned to see two blue eyes and Phil’s smiling face.

                “Hi Dan, it’s me, Phil.” The boy said as if Dan could’ve forgotten who he was. “Your nose looks better.” He said it quietly and to Dan but he was looking past him at Arran who looked as though he suddenly wanted to evacuate the situation.

                “You just wait.” The bully pointed at Dan, gave Phil one last long look before returning to his seat.

                Dan turned back to Phil feeling suddenly nervous in his presence. The boy had this confidence about him. He wasn’t intimating in the slightest but he was just so…nice Dan didn’t deserve to be in the presence of someone this nice.

                “Um..hi. Yeah I had to go clean up after waiting it out in that closet. Thanks for that…again.”

                “Of course.” He smiled gently.

                It was then that Dan noticed a splotch of blood on the pocket of his pastel blue button down shirt. “What happened?” Dan asked suddenly worried.

                Phil’s eyebrows shot up. “That? That’s your blood. I had to wipe it off my arm too.” He gave an amused grin but Dan was horrified.

                “Oh my god I am so sorry! I cant believe-”

                “Seriously don’t worry about it. It’s just a shirt I hardly wear anyway.” Phil leaned forward to whisper something to Dan. “Besides, it made me look kind of interesting and tough to have blood on my shirt.” He leaned back again, smiling. Dan laughed nervously.

                The rest of the day went on as normal except that Dan now noticed how often he crossed paths with this boy. He couldn’t believe he hadn’t noticed him before. Phil was in most of his classes. It also didn’t surprise Dan that they hadn’t spoken though. Phil was normal. He had friends. Everyone seemed to like him and talk to him. People, including the teachers were drawn to his happiness. Until today Dan had thought everyone just had a fucked up life like him. Now that he was paying attention though he wondered how wrong he had been. Had he really been so self-absorbed his whole life that he hadn’t noticed how other people were feeling? Everyone he looked at had friends, or were at least communicating with their own species. Why was he perfectly content to just sit in silence at his desk? Maybe he just convinced himself he was content because he literally had no idea how to be any other way than he was.

                He let out an exasperated sigh. He hated when he started thinking. He silently wished Phil would come talk to him again but it was a fleeting thought he didn’t allow himself to dwell on.

 

The last class of the day finished. Dan stayed seated until everyone else had left the room. Phil looked back at him once before leaving the classroom but continued through the door. Dan realized then that he had gotten his hopes too high even still. He laid his head on his desk, having no desire to go back home. Going home meant dealing with his father. His stomach ached at the thought.

                “Daniel?” The teacher called. “Are you alright?”

                Dan lifted his head and forced himself to stand. “Yeah yeah I’m fine.”

                “Dan! What happened to your face?” The teacher shook her head, disappointed. “I thought you were doing better. I thought you were done with fighting.” Dan didn’t both explaining. What was the point? She was going to believe what she was going to believe. She must have seen the hopelessness on his face because she sighed. “Do you want to have the nurse look at you before you go home?”

                He shook his head. “I’m fine. I’ll go home now.”

He looked for Arran around every corner but the bully was probably going to wait until tomorrow morning to get his revenge. It was more fun to keep Dan on his toes.

He took his time getting home, walking slowly and taking the long way through neighborhoods. Try as he might Phil’s face kept popping into his mind. His smile, his eyes, his calm demeanor. Everything about him just made something come alive in Dan. Something he thought had died a long time ago.

Before he knew it though he was on his porch stairs staring at the peeling wooden door with dread. It seemed quiet and normal from out here. Maybe a little un-kept with the unraked leaves and broken slats. He turned the knob all the way before pushing the door open and stepping inside. It was dark. It was always dark. It took a minute for his eyes to adjust. The TV was on. A single lamp lit the room from beside the couch. He heard dishes clank in the kitchen. The dread grew to the size of a football in his gut as he forced himself forward. He took the first step onto the stairs leading up hoping he could pass unnoticed. No such luck.

“Dan?”

“Yeah. Hi dad.” His grip on the railing tightened.

“Where have you been? School was over hours ago.” His tone was low and calm sounding. It could change in an instant. His father walked to the door thresh hold and leaned against the wall wiping his hands on a towel.

“I took the long way home.” He decided on telling the truth. Maybe his father would believe him this time.

The man laughed. “Right. You fucking some guy after school?” He laughed loud and obnoxiously. Dan hated his laugh. He also didn’t reply to the comment because he was certain his dad knew the answer. For some reason though he didn’t like to think that his son could be completely innocent in the things he did. He liked to try and make Dan feel dirty.

“Goodnight dad.” Dan attempted to go upstairs.

“Wait a second come on. Don’t take everything so personal. Aren’t you going to eat?” His father stepped closer. Dan tensed.

“I’m not hungry yet. Maybe later.” He tried to keep his voice even and his gaze low.

“Come on _son_ just come in the kitchen and get a bite to eat with your old man.” He didn’t give Dan an option. He grabbed his arm and pulled him down three of the steps, catching Dan by the shoulder when he almost fell and yanked him upwards. Dan winced but tried not to show it. Instinctively he went to pull his arm back but the grip only tightened, causing him to have to stand on his tip toes to relieve some of the pain. “Why don’t you want to hang out with me? Got something better to do?”

“I have homework.” Dan never did his homework but maybe it would convince his father to let him go. At least for tonight. That’s all Dan could ever do was live each day one at a time.

“You haven’t done homework since god knows when. Your teachers call me you know. Whenever you get in a fight or are late for class. You were late today. Almost missed an entire class. What. Were. You. Doing?”

Dan knew there was no way to avoid it now and so fear took over. His heart pounded and he stopped listening. Nothing he said would matter. His dad didn’t care that his son had missed a class. He wouldn’t care if Dan never went to school again. All he wanted was an excuse to take his anger out on something, someone and Dan was usually there to use.

Today though Dan didn’t want to be a doll tossed around. Maybe it was meeting Phil. Maybe it was seeing that kindness still existed in the world. Whatever it was gave Dan the strength he need to rip his arm away. The energy in the room immediately intensified. His dad didn’t want someone that fought back. He wanted someone that would collapse and take it. He did want his victim to cry to yell him to stop. He simply wanted you to become an unfeeling, unmoving object. The fire behind his fathers eyes lit. A furious rumble came from his throat and he stretched for Dan who couldn’t think fast enough to back away. He was thrown against the wall, pain shooting from somewhere, he wasn’t sure where. All he could think about was getting out of the house. So he whipped around and headed for the door. Another vice grip on his arm stopped him in his tracks, slamming him to the floor. A fist in his stomach forced out all the air from his lungs. He crawled to the wall.

“Get back here! I asked you a question!”

Dan grabbed at the wall, needing something to help him up. His father seized his searching limb and yanked him to his feet. His arm and shoulder was in agony from all the violent tugging. _The door. I have to get to the door._ When the hand let go and reeled back for a punch Dan took the pause to bolt forward and rip open the front door.

“Don’t you dare!” His father bellowed behind him. Dan was already out the door, hearing hard clumsy steps after him. It was dark and the air frigid. Dan tripped on the steps and scraped his elbows on the concrete. He felt a hand graze his pant leg, trying to grip. He tucked in his leg and bounced to his feet, taking off as quickly as his shaking legs would allow.

“Dan! Dan get back here right now! Where do you think you’re going?!”

Dan didn’t care where he ended up. He hoped a car would hit him as he ran and end everything. He wouldn’t be able to come back home now. A few punches were inevitable even before Dan struggled let alone now. Now he would get the beating of a lifetime. His dad would use the knife. Whether he stopped now and let it happen or he came back days from now. Right now though he just didn’t think he could take it.

So he kept running. The longer he ran the more strength his legs gained. He could still ear his father coming after him. He turned left at the end of a block and pushed his body to go faster. Two blocks, three blocks now separated them. Between the panic and sudden exertion he wouldn’t be able to go much farther. _Where could I go?_ He asked himself desperately. It was just like this morning. In the end there was really nowhere to go.

Abruptly he decided to turn left after some bushes. Only the last thing he expected was for someone to be walking down the sidewalk on the other side of those bushes.

“What the-” Said the person just as Dan crashed into them full speed. For the third time that day Dan was sprawled on the cold floor in pain and fear for his life. This time though he had spent too much of his adrenaline. He stayed there for several seconds catching his breath before forcing his body to sit up. He heard the other person groan, who was also laying on the ground except they had at least landed on grass.

“I’m so sorry I-” Dan began as the thin figure pushed themselves up also. It was Phil. Even in the darkness Dan could see his pale skin and black hair covering most of is forehead. “Phil?”

The boy looked up, rubbing at a spot on his shoulder. “Dan? You again?” Phil looked around as if expecting someone to jump out of the bushes and tell him this was all a joke.

“What are you doing here?” They asked in unison.

“I live right around the corner. I was just getting back from a friend’s house.” Phil answered. He stood up. This time he was the one to help Dan to his feet.

“I do to.” Dan replied quizzically. How was this even possible? How long had Phil lived this close to him?

“Are you going to tell me what’s going on? Is Arran after you again?”

“No…it’s a long story.” Dan didn’t know how to answer the question. Are you okay?” Dan thought that Phil probably felt as though he just been hit by a train.

“Dan! Come back here now!” His father sounded only a couple blocks away.

Dan’s breathing quickened and he looked around for the next direction he should run to.

“Whoa whoa don’t run. Who is that?” Phil held up his hands in front of Dan as if negotiating with a frightened animal.

“It’s my father. He’s going to kill me if I don’t go okay?” Dan felt like he was about to break down. Too much had happened today. His thoughts were everywhere. He couldn’t think straight and he just wanted to hide and be unnoticed by the world and cry. He certainly didn’t want Phil to have to see him like this or to see what would happen if his father caught up to him. Even worse would be if he saw him with Phil.

“What do you mean? Would he really hurt you?” Dan could see the pity in Phil’s eyes and yet again he was dumbfounded by the kindness this person contained.

“Yes.” Dan said quietly.

Phil hesitated before replying. “Come with me.” Just like earlier he placed a hand on Dan’s arm and tried to urge him along. Dan didn’t move this time though.

“No Phil. I have to go. I’m sorry but I really have to go.”

“You’ll be safe at my house.” Phil kept his loose grip in Dan’s arm and tugged again.

“But-”

“But nothing. If you don’t come with me now he’s going to see you. I live just a coupe houses down, now hurry up.”

Dan went. He didn’t know where else he could go anyway. Phil was his best, if not only option. There was a part of him that wanted Phil to care about him. He just wanted to see the calmness behind his eyes again.

The house really was close. Phil opened the front door, grabbing Dan’s hand and pulling him in. The first thing that hit Dan was the luminosity. All the lights were on. Not just little lamps that usually occupied corners and stands but large ceiling lights. A massive chandelier that could have lit Dan’s entire house welcomed them in the entrance. A stair case was directly in front of them leading to the second floor. It was not a huge house, though everything was modern, simple, and clean. Dan was afraid to touch anything. He had just barely caught a glimpse of the living room on the right of the staircase when Phil’s hand pulled on his.

When they got to the top of the stairs Phil dropped Dan’s hand, making him feel suddenly vulnerable.

“In here. This is my room.”

He followed him into the room and Phil shut the door behind him. He flicked on the light. A couple pieces of clothing lay on the floor. Dan’s eyes first focused on Phil’s closet. It had more colors of clothing than Dan thought even existed. How could one person enjoy so many colors? He then noticed the bed. It was queen sized with a tri-color green, blue, and purple duvet. Dan slept on a twin bed surrounded by clothes with a black comforter he’d had for as long as he could remember. There was a TV on the wall across from the bed with an Xbox and Wii U. A shelf containing books, DVD’s, video games, and Pokémon and Totoro plushies made a soft laugh come from Dan. Phil saw what he was looking at and shrugged.

“What can I say? I’m not ready to grow up yet.” He said.

“Are you kidding? I’m laughing because I thought I was the only sixteen-year-old with Pokémon plushies.”

“Oh.” Phil laughed with him.

The silence that followed forced Dan to think about what had just happened with his father. _He’s going to kill me. He’s actually going to kill me._ The uneasiness settled in Dan’s core again. His gaze fell to the floor. He heard his father’s screams echoing in his skull. He felt his body go limp when he hit the floor and the dizziness that overtook when he was snapped back up by his arm. He imagined what would come when he got home and his father pinned him on his stomach and took the blade to his back. He heard the loud music his father always blared to block the screams that came from Dan whenever he did this. Why did he have to fight him this time? It was going to be so much worse now.

“Dan?”

Dan jerked his head up.

“Are you okay?”

When he didn’t respond Phil stepped forward soundlessly and grabbed his hand. He lifted his arm gently. Dan didn’t react. He just watched mindlessly. Now that he was safe his brain shut down. Phil’s warm hand skimmed over his arm. “You have cuts all over you. Let me grab the first aid kit. You can sit on my bed. Make yourself comfortable.” Dan took in a sharp breath when his fingers touched a sore spot he hadn’t been made aware of yet. The boys hand retreated slightly.

Dan nodded. Phil hesitated before leaving the room. It was at least a minute before Dan moved his legs toward the bed. He sat lightly on the edge. He saw a body length mirror in the corner of the room and inspected himself. It looked as though someone had drug him through the streets. His face was bruised, lips swollen, raw spots covered his arms. His jeans were torn at the knees ad there was blood on his shirt. When he breathed, his side hurt. He lifted his shirt to see if his ribs showed any bruising. Nothing showed thankfully. This wasn’t even close to some of the beatings he’d gotten in the past. Heck, his father barely touched him tonight.

“Is something wrong with your ribs?”

The voice startled him. He hadn’t heard Phil open the door.

“N-no it’s fine.” Dan stood from the bed.

“It’s okay you can sit back down.” The boy encouraged. He pulled up a chair from the desk in the room and sat on it in front of Dan. There was a small red bag and a soaked rag in his hand. He removed several large plasters and a yellow tube from the pouch.

Dan took the rag from his hand and started dabbing at his scrapes. Was Phil really applying a n ointment to his wounds as if touching Dan’s skin didn’t bother him? Dan didn’t realize that he had stopped caring for his cuts and was now staring at Phil’s teal eyes. Watching him made his heart slow. The tension in his body retreated and he felt calm. Had he ever felt that before? When could he have ever felt it? His mother had died at an early age and he no other close relatives or friends that showed him what peace felt like. He had an aunt and uncle that he met once but it had been brief and awkward.


	2. Chapter 2

Phil knew Dan was watching him intently but refrained from glancing up. He could sense Dan was confused by him. Phil was only doing what any person in their right mind would do after seeing what he had and yet here Dan was, completely perplexed by the fact that someone didn’t want to see him beaten up. He was going to just run through the neighborhood in the frozen air until he found a spot that would keep him safe from his father until…until when? Was Dan planning on running away and never coming back? What was his plan?

Phil hadn’t had a plan either when he convinced Dan to come with him. He just reacted. The same way he had this morning when he was running from Arran. Is there anyone in this world that hasn’t tried to hurt Dan? It seemed to Phil that this was a familiar way of living to the boy. Before that morning Phil had never spoken to him. Dan was known as a trouble maker. He was always in fights, never did his work, and hardly seemed to exist in the classroom. Phil had never heard of anyone that was his friend. Heck had he ever even seen Dan talk to someone at school? Phil felt guilt pool in his chest. Through the year’s he had followed the crowd in ignoring Dan and his strangeness and now look at him. His mind seemed to be empty, his body numb.

Phil covered the last scratch with a plaster and stood, returning the chair. The movement made Dan tense again.

“All done. Now all you need is some clothes to sleep in.” He started digging through one of his drawers.

“Oh no Phil I can’t stay the night here. I have to go back to…” His voice drifted off.

“Dan it’s not a problem at all. I’ll give you one of my pillows and we have plenty of spare blankets. We don’t have a spare room so you’ll have to sleep on my floor if that’s alright with you.” Phil handed him some pajama bottoms and a shirt.

Dan hesitated, probably trying to think of some way to convince Phil that he couldn’t stay. “Sure, that’s fine. It’s more than fine. Thank you.” Phil nodded back with a smile and the other boy seemed to relax a little.

“It may seem like a weird thing to ask but could we try not to make it obvious to my parents that you’re here?” Phil said.

“Why? Your parents not like the idea of a boy spending the night in your room?” For the first time Phil saw a small bit of sarcasm and confidence play at the corner of Dan’s lips.

“ _No_. However your current state,” he gestured to all of Dan, “may shock them. They would have questions and I’m doubting you want to explain this situation right now.”

“Right. Gotcha.”

 

Despite what Dan predicted he fell asleep almost immediately. Phil listened to the quiet slow breathing of the sleeping boy. He smiled to himself. Had he not spent that extra hour at PJ’s house today he would have never run into Dan, or rather, Dan run into him. Dan would have kept running and who knows where he’d be at this moment. Certainty not curled up looking innocent and content on Phil’s floor.

It wasn’t more than an hour into Phil’s sleep when he heard a strangled kind of noise that woke him instantly. He sat up, rubbing at his eyes. It was Dan making the noises. The boys head tossed back and forth. He gripped the blanket over him tightly. His breathing was rapid.

“Dan, Dan wake up.” When nothing happened, Phil slipped onto the floor beside him. He laid a hand on his arm and shook gently. “Dan, you need to wake up.” Dan shot bolt upright, eyes wide.

“It’s only me. You were having a nightmare. You’re okay.”

When he first made eye contact there was only terror. He looked down at Phil’s hand. He took slower breaths and finally his body sagged. His head dropped back down to the pillow.

“I’m sorry.” He shook his head in humiliation.

“It’s fine, no worries. I just wanted to wake you up.”

Dan nodded slowly. His eyes were already closing, his breath evening. Phil stayed where he was until he knew Dan was deep in sleep again.

 

When morning came, Dan was afraid to move. He stayed under the blanket on the floor staring at the bookshelf in front of him. Everything felt good in this moment. He was afraid that if he moved the peace and wonderfulness of it would be disturbed. The anxiety would encircle him again. He took long slow breaths and tried to memorized the smell of Phil’s room. It was hard to explain but with Phil he felt like he was laying on a smooth sandy beach, the calming sound of waves in the background and the sun keeping him toasty. He felt like he could close his eyes and never feel anything bad again. If only he could stay in this moment.

                Unfortunately, reality had to happen eventually. He reached for his phone subconsciously. Before remembering he had left it in the pocket of his bloody hoodie which was at home. He groaned, flipped onto his other side to face Phil’s bed. The boy was still asleep, arms wrapped around his pillow. How was it possible for someone to look just as lovely asleep as they did awake? What was it like to be able to sleep this peacefully every night? Even asleep in his room Dan had to worry about his father’s late night rampages. More than a couple of times in his life he had been dragged out of bed by his hair in the dead of sleep.

                A while later Phil stretched his limbs and his eyes opened sleepily. He made eye contact with Dan and smiled. “Good morning.”

                “Morning.” Dan replied, eyes darting away. Could he get any creepier than watching someone sleep?

                “Did you sleep better the rest of the night?”

                Only then did Dan remember the dream he had last night and Phil’s voice and soft touch pulling him out of it. His cheeks flushed with embarrassment. “Right, yeah I did actually.”

“Good. Well, I guess we have to be getting ready for school.”

Dan had forgotten about that too. His throat tightened at the thought of facing Arran today. Phil seemed to read his expression.

“Arran won’t bother you today. I promise.”

“How can you possibly expect that? First he’s going to chop me into pieces and then he’s going to put me in a blender.”

“I guess I should say that if you stay with _me_ he won’t bother you. His dad works for mine. The two are already on bad terms so he leaves me alone. I have a feeling the relationship he has with his father is much like yours and life at home probably wouldn’t be fun if his dad lost his job.” Phil winked before crawling out of bed.

“Are you serious?” A wave of hope came over Dan. It quickly crashed again when he remembered Phil wasn’t in all his classes. He couldn’t quite follow him around like a puppy dog running from the dog catcher. He didn’t say anything though. Dan had taken care of himself this long, he could certainly do it today. And the next day and the next…

Phil snapped him out of his depressing thoughts. “You obviously can’t wear the clothes you wore yesterday today and I’m thinking pajamas will ruin your reputation.” He giggled. “So, pick anything you want from my closet okay?”

“Alright.” Dan walked over to the closet and awkwardly stared into the colorful closet. He had never worn any of these colors. “Do you have anything…black maybe? No offense but these really aren’t my style.”

Phil laughed. “I do have one black jumper.” He opened a drawer and threw an article of clothing at Dan.

“Perfect.” Dan replied. Only when he flipped it over, there was a large triceratops printed on the front. “You’re kidding.”

Phil grinned amusingly. “You asked for something black. That’s the only black thing I have.” He shrugged, although clearly not feeling too bad.

Dan huffed and laid the shirt on the bed preparing to remove his own. He looked up to find Phil had already stripped and was clumsily shoving his legs into some skinny jeans. Dan couldn’t help staring a second or two longer than he should have. Everything about him was smooth. His stomach was flat and Dan didn’t think he could see a single scar on him. _Great. And now I have to get undressed._ The scars on his back were the biggest thing that bothered him. He didn’t want Phil to feel uncomfortable by going to change in the bathroom though so he grabbed the edges of his short and lifted. The quick movement hurt his ribs and he winced a little. He was pulling down the jumper just as Phil straightened out his own shirt ad turned to look at Dan.

“Jeans. You need jeans.” He rummaged through his clothes again and chucked some material behind him which Dan caught. “Those should fit. I’m going to grab some breakfast for us real quick. You can use the bathroom down the hall just…be quiet alright?”

In the bathroom Dan did his best to fix his pathetic hair, washed his face and began removing the plasters form his cuts. He’d rather walk into school looking like he’d just gotten in a fight than a three-year-old that’d tripped and fallen and needed plasters.

Phil returned holding a plate of steaming sausage and egg sandwiches. Dan couldn’t remember the last time he’d eaten breakfast. His mornings usually consisted of waking up late enough that he all he could manage was throwing on some clothes and walking out the door in hopes of avoiding his father. He took the sandwich from Phil’s hand and moaned when he bit into it.

Phil laughed. “They are just microwavable sandwiches calm down.”

Dan ducked his head and the other boy tried to suppress a grin at his shyness.

After Phil made sure his parents had left for work they walked out the front door toward school. Dan’s heart rate picked up a little now that he was out of the safety zone of Phil’s house. His father could be waiting behind a nearby fence or drive by and see him. Dan tried to focus on the warmth of Phil’s black jumper and how the boys smell was absorbed into it. Dan felt enveloped by the sweet scent and it overpowered some of his negative emotions. He didn’t notice how close he was walking to Phil’s side until the boy tripped thanks to Dan’s feet entangling with his.

“Whoops, sorry.” Dan’s cheeks flushed.

Phil laughed a little. “A little on edge?” Dan nodded and tried to walk in a straight line. “It’s okay. If he sees us there’s no way I’m letting him take you. I promise.” Phil sounded serious but he didn’t know Dan’s father. Dan said as much.

“You don’t know him Phil. He wouldn’t think twice before slamming your head to the ground and leaving you to fend for yourself. He can’t see us.”

“Alright, alright. So if he sees us we’ll run.” Phil compromised.

Dan shook his head. “If he sees us, _you_ run. I’ll have to face him at some point.”

Dan met Phil’s eyes and for the first time since he met him he saw sadness there. He was sad for Dan? “You can stay at my house again tonight. It’s honestly no big deal. I’ll let my parents know and you won’t have you hide. You can eat dinner with us and sleep on my floor or the couch if you prefer.”

Dan stopped him before he could continue. “Phil that’s really nice of you. But…the longer I wait the worse it will be.”

The boy shook his head fervently. “I can’t-”

“Phil I’m going home tonight. Okay?”

Phil grabbed Dan’s arm, pulling him to a stop. He had the same look on his face that he had just before deciding to hide Dan in the closet and the same one he had last night when he took him to his house. “I’ll go with you, to you house. Your dad wouldn’t do anything in front of me, right?”

Dan was shaking his head before he even finished the sentence. “Stop, okay? There is nothing you can do. Just stop.” He regretted his tone immediately. Phil looked dejected and useless. Dan hated that this happy perfect person was feeling sad just for the sake of Dan and his problems. He didn’t deserve this. “It’ll be fine. I promise.” He forced a smile.

 

Dan’s day at school was different than he had ever experienced. He stuck like glue to Phil’s side and just as the boy had assured him Arran stayed at a distance. Even during the two classes Dan didn’t have with him Arran seemed to think he was just hiding under a desk waiting for him to touch Dan.

Phil introduced him to his friends which was basically the entire school. People that normally would have avoided glances in his direction were now shaking his hand and enthusiastically slapping his back. He didn’t like that. Their confidence and rough shows of affection hurt him inside and out. Phil picked up on anxiety and anytime someone did these things he’d loosely take hold of Dan’s forearm. It made Dan feel safe. It made him feel as though if anything bad happened Phil would grab his hand and whisk him away from the situation. Phil’s friends were in wonderment of Dan’s cuts and scars. They really did think he was just some tough guy that got in fights. When they asked what happened and how he got them he slyly avoided answering by laughing or asking them a question in return. Dan lost count of the number of times the two of them were asked to hand out after school. Each time, Phil kindly replied with a “sorry I can’t, already have plans.” Dan simply shook his head and people weren’t quite comfortable enough with him to ask for reasons why.

Dan refused to think about the end of the day when he would have to return home. In fact, he didn’t think of it until the last class ended and Phil and he were walking out of the school towards home. His heart thumped in is chest making it hard to breathe. He tucked his hands into the sleeve of the jumper and pulled them to his chin. They walked in anxious silence. Dan watched their breathes in the frigid air with each exhale.

It wasn’t until they were over halfway home that anything was said.

“I’ll return your stuff tomorrow at school.”

“What if you’re not at school tomorrow?” Phil asked flatly. Dan looked up at him.

“I’ll be there. I’m always there.”

“No you’re not.” Phil confronted.

“What do you mean?” Dan was honestly confused.

“You have a reputation Dan. I know you think your invisible but people know who you are. I’ve known who you are since we lived in the same neighborhood, since we were ten years old. I remember not seeing you at school for a day, sometimes three in a row and then suddenly you were. Only you would be limping or walking weird. You’d have bruises. Some guys have even said your back is covered in scars. The students, the teachers, we all thought you were just a kid that liked to fight. That you would ditch school and get in some trouble. I realize now that…that probably wasn’t the case, was it?” Phil met Dan’s eyes.

Dan hesitated. “No, it wasn’t.”

“I guess I always knew that. I remember seeing you walk out of your house for school and your dad yelling at you out the door. So I ask again, what if you’re not at school tomorrow?” His gaze was intense. He wanted an answer and Dan didn’t have one. He’d never known anyone that would care whether he showed up or not.

“I-I don’t know. How about I just promise you that I’ll be there?”

Phil nodded slowly. “I guess that’s the best I can get from you.”

They stopped at the end of a block. This was where they had to go their separate ways. They rocked on their feet, hands buried in their pockets. Dan suddenly wrapped his arms around Phil and squeezed, holding on tight. Phil raised his arms to hug back and let Dan rest his head on his shoulder.

“If you need to come over to my house you come okay? I don’t care if it’s just because you need a hug. Promise me if you need to you will come over.” Phil begged.

“I promise.” Dan gave one final squeeze before letting go and walking quickly back toward his house. He knew Phil was watching and he didn’t allow himself to turn around. If he did he might just go back to his house, sleep on his floor, and wear his bright clothes forever.

There was a buzzing in his ears as he approached the door. He took in a breath before turning the knob and walking in. He didn’t both with trying to be quiet as he usually did. This had to happen and he wanted it over with.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Phil get's to see Dan's room

Phil left his house early the next morning for school. He had hardly slept the night before hoping both that Dan would and wouldn’t have to come to his house. He waited at the end of the street for him up until the last minute. Maybe he left early too? It wouldn’t be surprising right? Phil was forced to run the rest of the way to school to make it on time. He searched for Dan in the hallways. He didn’t see him but it would be easy to miss someone in this crowd. All through the first class his leg bounced anxiously. He sprinted to the second class where Dan should be. He wasn’t there. He wasn’t at school today.  
Phil used his good reputation with the teachers to ask for a favor. He waited patiently until the teacher was done writing on a piece of paper.  
“Hi Phil, what is it?” The man smiled and Phil took this as a good sign.  
“I really hate to do this but something has come up and I think it’s best if I leave for the day.”  
The man’s eyebrows furrowed. “Is there an emergency?”  
“I’m…not sure. I really do think it would be best if I head home though.”  
The teacher hesitated, tapping his pen a couple times. “I don’t think that would be a big deal. Go ahead. I hope everything’s okay.”  
Phil clasped his hands, feeling a wave of adrenaline. “Thank you so much.”  
He left the classroom and ran toward Dan’s house. Phil had never officially been there before. He’d walked past it and that was it. The house didn’t seem to fit in with the others as it needed some TLC. He slowed as he approached. Was he being stupid? What if Dan’s father was there? Was he making things worse by coming? It was too late now. He stepped onto the wooden porch and knocked. The house was quiet. Eerily quiet. He was beginning to think no one was home when the knob twisted and the door was pulled open almost silently. Phil couldn’t see anyone in the darkness of the house.  
“Dan?” He leaned forward to peer in.  
Dan stepped out from behind the door onto the porch and pulled the door closed. “Phil what are you doing here?” The boy whispered. He was still wearing the triceratops shirt and Phil’s skinny jeans. There were no new bruises or gashes that Phil could see. He was so relieved he almost cried. He settled for throwing himself at Dan in a hug and squeezed hard. Dan winced and Phil pulled away.  
“Are you okay? Where were you? Damn it you scared me!” He went in for another hug. This time Dan was prepared and welcomed it. He squeezed back before pulling away.  
“I’m okay. I had no way of telling you I wasn’t going to be there. My dad didn’t want me to go because he thought he deserved some father-son time.” Dan’s eyes weren’t focused on Phil’s. Instead he was looking at the ground in another world entirely. Phil ducked his head to catch his attention. Dan looked up at him and attempted a smile.  
“I’m just really glad to see you’re okay. You’re still wearing my shirt.” Phil pointed out. Dan blushed.  
“Oh yeah, sorry, it’s comfy.” He shrugged.  
“I don’t mind. Can I come in?”  
Dan’s face froze. “C-come in?”  
“Just for a few minutes?”  
Dan looked backward toward the house and held his arms tighter to his chest. “Okay. For a few minutes. My dad is asleep on the couch.”  
“I’ll be quiet.” Phil assured him.  
Dan again silently opened the front door. He seemed to be used to the motion. His feet were soundless as he walked across the floor. The house was pitch black. It took a minute for Phil’s eyes to adjust. The only lighting came from the TV which sat in front of a window. There were few pieces of furniture in the living room. A nightstand held a lamp, the TV and the stand it was on, and then the couch. On it was Dan’s father. He was laying awkwardly with his limbs in every direction. A Coca Cola bottle half empties lay just out of reach from the hand that dangled over the side.  
They went up a staircase that was just to the left. Upstairs Dan beckoned him into a room and shut the door. The boy let out a breath he must have been holding in.  
“Well, here’s my room.” He opened the blinds to a widow and the light poured in.  
Dan’s room was as scarcely furnished as the living room. There was a twin bed against the far wall with a black and grey comforter, a dresser shoved in the corner with, just as Dan had said, Pokémon plushies littering the top, and a nightstand with a single drawer. That wasn’t all though. The walls, they were painted black.  
“I like black.” Dan rocked on his heels.  
‘I noticed. You do realize it’s not technically a colour though right?” Phil tried to brighten the mood.  
“Shut up.” Dan smiled at him. “Oh hey I can give you back your clothes now.”  
“Sure.” He occupied himself with a Chalamander on the dresser as Dan shimmied out of the jeans and replaced them with his own. He turned just as Dan was pulling on a T-shirt and couldn’t help the gasp that escaped his thoat.  
Dan whipped around. He had thought Phil was faced the other way. He quickly finished pulling on the shirt so Phil couldn’t see the rest.  
Phil stood there covering his mouth with one hand. He didn’t think the image of the wide jagged scars would ever leave his mind. They covered the boys back. Each scar was unique, a different size and length. The most disturbing part was that at least one of them was new. It still glistened with blood. “Oh my god Dan. I mean…I had heard…people said…but…Dan what happened? Do you cut?”  
Dan stood motionless for a moment. “No. I don’t cut myself Phil.”  
“Then who-” All at once he made the connection. "Your father did this to you?” He took two long strides to Dan and grabbed the hem of his shirt, yanking it up it in the back.  
“No Phil!” He didn’t resist though. He let Phil look at the scars. He felt his eyes pouring over them. Then he felt fingers touching the edge of one of the fresh ones. He tensed. Phil didn’t hurt him though. He only grazed the top of his fingers over the gaping cut. The fingers continued down his back. If it wasn’t because Phil was tracing the jagged marks Dan might have enjoyed the touches.  
“Those are going to get infected.” He whispered, letting Dan’s shirt fall.  
“I put hydrogen peroxide on them. They never get infected.”  
Phil stared at him incredulously. “How has no one found out about this? How have you not been taken out of his care?” He was getting passionate, his voice raising.  
Dan slapped a hand over his mouth. “Shhh.” The boy froze and focused on the bedroom door. Phil hadn’t heard anything, yet Dan removed his hand and ordered him to get under the bed.  
“But-”  
“Now.”  
Phil did as he was told and got on his stomach to slide under the bed. He go as far back against the wall as he could. Now he could hear someone coming up the stairs and Dan shuffling the blankets around on the bed before climbing onto it and becoming motionless. Phil could see only the bottom part of the door from his position when it opened. A pair of work boots came into view. He held his breath.  
“What was that?” The man asked. His voice was gruff with sleep.  
“What was what?”  
“I heard something up here.”  
No reply.  
“Well I’m leaving for work. Don’t leave the house while I’m gone. Make spaghetti for dinner and leave it on the stove until I get home.”  
“Okay.”  
“You hear me? Don’t leave this house.” The man hadn’t raised his voice but still there was a threat there.  
“I won’t. I don’t have anywhere to go.” Dan replied.  
“Damn right you don’t.” His father sneered. The boots disappeared downstairs. The front door slammed. No one moved until there was nothing but silence.  
“You can come out now.” Dan got off the bed and peeked under. Phil struggled to drag himself out and Dan helped him up the best he could. “Sorry.”  
“At least now I can stay!” Phil chirped.  
“What?”  
“Now that he’s gone I can stay here for more than a few minutes.”  
Dan looked uncertain. “You mean you want to stay?”  
“Of course! I can even help make spaghetti.”  
“You baffle me.” Dan shook his head, smiling all the same.

Phil dabbed at Dan’s fresh cuts in the small bathroom with a paper towel. Even though he’d assured him that none of them ever got infected, Phil seemed determined to take care of them all the same.  
“Does that hurt?” He asked.  
“No.”  
“Good. I’ll put a bandage over it and then we’re done. You really should put some ointment on it but since you are determined to die of some horrible infection I’ll leave it as is.  
“You’re such a hypochondriac.” Dan chuckled, pulling his shirt over his head.  
“It’s still earlier enough to go back to school you know.” Phil suggested sarcastically.  
Dan smirked. “I’d rather just go to your house. You probably have popcorn and gourmet chocolate bars, fresh strawberries your mom just got at the local market and caviar for tonight’s dinner with a glass of wine that your parents have held back from drinking because they were waiting for the right moment which they decide is today because something happened that reminded them of how wonderful and perfect their son is.”  
“What? You’re kidding me right? We have issues too. And we are not wealthy. My mom gets all her decorating ideas because she’s obsessed with Pinterest. Also, she’s not a very good cook so we quite often order take out. And my parents don’t drink.”  
“Oh.” They both burst into laughter. “One thing I do have is a Wii that my aunt and uncle gave me for Christmas. Do you want to play Mario Kart?” Dan suggested.  
“That sounds perfect.”  
Dan set up the TV in the living room while Phil opened the blinds. Dan hadn’t seen this much sunlight in his house in…ever actually.

Dan was certain that despite what had happened recently that this was the single best day of his life. Phil was not good at Mario Kart. He tried so hard. This deep look of concentration would be plastered on his face. He still laughed when he lost though. His tongue would poke from the corner of his mouth when he did so. A couple hours later and they sprawled out onto the couch laughing. Phil was telling funny stories of his childhood.  
“Why does it feel like I’ve known you my whole life?” Dan asked from his awkward lying down position on the couch. He was well aware of the bottom half of Phil’s body against his legs. Touching him made him feel placid.  
“I don’t know. I think we were meant to be friends. I wish I’d talked to you earlier.”  
Dan held his breath a little at the word “friends”. It was very probable that Phil didn’t and couldn’t think of him as anything else. The thought hurt but even if this was all they were he supposed he would be happy.  
“I didn’t exactly make myself approachable.”  
“Ah well. I’m here now aren’t I?”  
“Yes you are.” Dan smiled, pushing against Phil’s leg a little more.  
Dan had been filled with so much joy the last few hours that he hadn’t thought to look at the time. He sat suddenly upright.  
“What time is it?” He started shuffling his hands around the couch looking for his phone. Phil stretched and retrieved his own phone from his pocket.  
“4:30. What time does your dad get home?”  
“About 5:30. I need to get started on dinner.”  
“I’ll help!”  
In the kitchen Dan started opening cans and cooking the noodles while Phil cut vegetables. Once Dan saw how quickly the meal was coming together he calmed down. He leaned against the counter, waiting for Phil to finish with his part. The boy hummed softly to himself like the most fun he’d ever had was chopping those mushrooms. Dan smiled. He couldn’t help thinking of touching him. He remembered the way Phil’s hug felt. He longed to feel his arms around him tightly again. Or how his fingers felt brushing over his wounds, how it would feel to have them run through his hair or his own hand pressed against the boys chest…  
“Ok all done. Let’s eat.”  
Dan pulled himself from his embarrassing daydream. He shouldn’t allow himself to think that way. Phil had made it obvious that he cares for Dan at least as a person in general but it probably didn’t go further than that.  
After eating Dan made Phil go home. They parted after a long hug in which Dan treasured. He promised to take care of his cuts and be at school tomorrow.

Dan was at school the next day, and the next. As a matter of fact, for nearly three weeks everything was fantastic. Thanks to Dan’s father having to work overtime most days the two hardly left the others side. As long as dinner was ready when his father got home he didn’t seem to care about Dan’s activities. Either the two were in class together, walking down the halls shoulder to shoulder, or at the others house playing video games and watching old Pokémon episodes. Phil’s parents finally got to meet Dan and thought kindly of him. Slowly Dad started feeling comfortable with them. In his life, he hadn’t had reason to put his trust in adults but he started seeing how much Phil truly loved his parents. It was fascinating to watch and Dan couldn’t help but feel a pain of longing in his chest every time he saw the Lester family interact. At school the only interchange with Arran were the glares of growing hatred the large boy sent him from across the room.  
It couldn’t be this easy forever though. Dan knew it and even Phil seemed to as well. They avoided the subject and just took advantage of the time and freedom they had at the moment.  
Dan knew their time was up when he came home from school one day to find his father already home sitting on the couch, watching TV and drinking. Dan’s breath stopped in his chest. “Hi dad. No late-night work tonight?”  
The man looked at Dan with his eyebrows furrowed, as if he couldn’t believe his son had spoken to him. “No. Done with that for now.” He turned his attention back to the TV.  
Dan walked into the kitchen and didn’t hesitate before slowly opening the sliding glass door leading to the backyard and sneaking out. He ran to the front of house, towards the street, down the block, and then took off for Phil’s. He opened the gate to Phil’s yard. Standing on a pile of wood he pulled himself onto the shed that was attached to the side of the house and from there walked across the roof to Phil’s room. His light was on and Dan rapped his knuckles against the window. It opened a few seconds later.  
“Well hello there.” Phil smiled.  
“Hi.” Dan let himself in and pounced onto the bed, landing cross legged.  
“What’s up? Is everything okay?” Phil scanned the other boys body in search of damage.  
Dan sighed. “Yeah. My dad’s not doing overtime anymore though. He was drinking when I got home from school so I thought I’d come here seeing as I don’t feel like being pummeled tonight. Is that okay?”  
“Of course. Can you entertain yourself for a while? I need to do my homework. As a matter of fact, you should do your homework.” He pointed at Dan’s backpack which lay on the floor.  
“Mmmm….no.” Dan let his head fall back onto Phil’s pillows.  
“Why not?” Phil pushed in a teasing tone.  
“Cause it’s too late for me. I’ve never done homework. I’m certainly not starting now.” Phil shook his head and attempted to start reading the piece of paper in front of him. “Phil!” Dan whined and chucked a pillow at his friend. Phil threw it back, not looking up. Dan scoffed. “Your boring.” When Dan saw a small smile play at Phil’s lips he threw another pillow. As he expected Phil not only flung it back but he leaped from his chair and charged after Dan.  
Dan shrieked and covered his face as Phil tackled him on the bed. The boy was slightly bigger than him but Dan made up for it in determination and his lack of gentleness. He managed to shove Phil off who was barely able to stay on the bed and prepare himself when Dan sat on his legs and pinned his arms. Dan’s fringe fell over his face and looked triumphantly down at Phil who was panting. Phil tried to push himself up but failed.  
“I’m not a delicate butterfly you know, you can actually try to push me off. It would easy if you gave it some effort.” Dan pushed down a little more onto Phil’s forearm to rile him. Phil smiled and shook his head.  
“I will never do anything that might hurt you.”  
The sincerity in his voice made Dan loosen his grip. He tilted his head and then leaned back so that he was sitting on Phil’s legs. Phil leaned on his elbows.  
“Do you mean that?” He asked. He wanted to believe it. In his heart he knew it and yet he wanted to hear it again. He needed to.  
“Of course.” Phil looked offended at the question. “Why do you think I would ever hurt you?”  
“What if I hurt you?” Dan suddenly looked horrified. He slid off Phil and sat on the bed, turned slightly away. “What if I hit you? Or what if I told you I never wanted to see you again?”  
“Dan.” Phil’s tone was insistent and the other boy felt compelled to look at him. “You could beat me like Arran’s done to you, like your father’s done to you and I would still never hurt you. And…and if you told me you never wanted to see me again then I would be so heartbroken that I don’t think I could react in anyway. Daniel Howell, I will never hurt you. That's a promise.”  
“Phil dinner is ready!” Phil’s mom shouted up the stairs. Dan stood but Phil got up quickly and touched his arm. “Do you believe me?” Dan searched his eyes. He was pleading with them.  
“Yeah I do.” Dan smiled and gave the other boys hand a reassuring squeeze. 

After dinner Dan grabbed his backpack, preparing to go home. “Wait, where are you going?” Phil asked.  
“Well I have to go home.” Dan rolled his eyes.  
“Not really. You can sleep here tonight.”  
Dan sucked in his bottom lip. He wanted more than anything to do just that. He knew it was probably a bad idea but he didn’t want to think about what the outcome would be. He just wanted to live happily in the moment. “Okay.” He smiled and dropped his bag again. “But I am seriously going to have to watch you do your homework while I lay here bored?”  
Now it was Phil’s turn to roll his eyes. “No. How about a movie?”  
Dan grinned. “Fantastic.”  
“You’re a horrible influence.”  
“That’s right. Pretty soon you’ll be fighting on the streets too.”

Dan was asleep halfway through the movie. At first, he fell asleep under the blanket and leaned against a pillow. Every few minutes though he’d slip down and soon his head rested on Phil’s leg. Phil didn’t mind. He smiled down at the boy. He looked at his soft brown hair. Carefully he let his hand touch the hair. He stroked it so gently that he could barely feel its silkiness. When Dan didn’t wake, he twirled in a finger in his fringe and stroked the hair more bravely. Dan only sighed comfortably and moved a little closer. Phil felt this feeling awaken in him. He had a strong desire to keep this beautiful person safe and happy. It was more than just that though. It wasn’t like when a friend has another friends back. Phil had a deep affection for this person, a longing toward him. It was as if he could see the strings attaching their hearts. He turned off the TV and in the silence he listened to Dan’s faint breathing. It was comforting to him in a way nothing had been before.  
He thought about waking Dan so that he could move to his normal spot on the floor but he really didn’t want to disturb him. Slowly Phil slid farther under the covers until he was lying flat and Dan’s head rested on his chest. Phil exhaled and closed his eyes. Just as his mind started winding into deep sleep he felt the warm body beside him tuck his arms against Phil’s ribs

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How are you guys enjoying the story so far? I'm not afraid of criticism as long as it's to better my writing not destroy my little confidence. Thanks for reading!


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Phil convinces Dan to go to party and it doesn't go so well

Dan awoke with an unfamiliar heat against his spine. He turned his head and realized he was back to back Phil. Although he was in this position now he remembered being curled against him in the night. He had restrained his intense desire to wrap an arm around Phil. Even now he felt the need to just be closer, to ground himself to this moment.  
Phil was a drug, Dan decided. Around Phil he couldn’t think of anything lousy or dreadful. Isn’t that what drugs do? Take you away from reality and make everything seem fuzzy and beautiful? Every moment spent together brought the two closer and closer. They didn’t even have to say anything to feel the other’s presence. The second any sort of absence was felt they didn’t have to look far to cure it. Dan thought of nothing else but Phil.  
Which was exactly why he didn’t anticipate the coming abuse when he walked in from school the day after that peaceful nights sleep with Phil. He should have expected it. He had done everything that his father hated in a single night. Avoided him, didn’t make dinner, disappeared, and just wasn’t there. Dan’s father counted on Dan always being there to vent to when needed.  
Dan had barely closed the front door of his house, a warm fuzzy feeling still affecting his brain from being with Phil when he was wrenched to the side and thrown against the floor. He hit his head on the wall and grabbed the back of his neck as pain blossomed. He still had his eyes squeezed shut when he was lifted off the ground and thrown again. This time he hit the bottom of the couch, forcing it back several feet. He tried to get to his feet but a fist met him in the ribs and he tumbled over again.  
Everything stopped then. Dan was panting and trying to collect his thoughts. Everything was jumbled. He knew enough to stay where he was. Do not try and get up.  
“You didn’t come home last night. In fact I didn’t see you at all yesterday. I know you’re up to something.” His father spit in his face. “What have you been doing while I’m at work?”  
“Nothing. I promise.” Dan was almost crying, his voice barely making it out of his mouth. He couldn’t allow himself to cry though. His dad hated when he cried.  
“Tell me!” The man got into his face and screamed. “Tell me!” Dan didn’t say anything. Fingers grabbed his hair and yanked his head back. “Do you need me to get the-”  
“No!” Panic flared in Dan. His heart couldn’t keep up with the fear. The continued beating of it physically hurt. His father looked pleased at his sons’ reaction. “I’ll tell you. It’s n-n-nothing really. I’ve just been hanging out with a friend after school sometimes. He’s even trying to h-help with my homework.” Dan attempted a small laugh. His father pushed away his face.  
“You mean to tell me that while I work all day and come home to no dinner that you’ve been going off after school to hang out with some guy and have fun?”  
Dan swallowed. He didn’t care to mention that yesterday had been the only day he didn’t make dinner.  
“I’ll make dinner right now. I’m sorry.” Dan’s eyes went back and forth, never making eye contact with the anger filled man before him. He strangled Dan’s arm and pulled him to his feet. The boy let out a terrified cry. Was he still going to use the knife? He was jerked along behind his father. Something burned in his right shoulder. Abruptly he was propelled forward through the doorway to the kitchen. He tripped and landed hard on his hands and knees. A sharp pain shot through the one shoulder. Without another word his father went back to sit on the couch.  
Dan pulled himself up with his left arm. He hurt all over. He could barely move his arm. His head ached already and he couldn’t concentrate. He made a sandwich without really thinking about it. He didn’t prepare any for himself. With his head hung he put it on a plate and brought it to his father who took it and set it on the nightstand, never removing his eyes from the TV. Dan started to walk away but a hand grabbed his wrist and twisted. He barely contained the shriek of pain. His father stood and wrapped a hand around his throat. Instinctively Dan tried to pull the hand away. He couldn’t breathe. His father leaned in close to his ear. “I don’t ever want to see you with this friend.” He whispered. Dan nodded quickly. The hand released and he took in a large amount of much needed air.  
He stumbled upstairs and collapsed on his bed. He put his pounding head into his hands and cried. Tears poured out of him. He was shaking and exhausted and in pain. He knew it could only make things worse in the long run but at this moment he needed comfort and there was only one place he could go to find it. He grabbed his phone and texted Phil. I’m coming over.  
Before he could think it through he stood up, opened his door and slunk soundlessly downstairs to the back door.  
It took longer than usual to make it to Phil’s in his current state. When he got there, he realized he couldn’t go to the front door. Mr. and Mrs. Lester would see him. He would have to go the usual way which meant getting on the roof. He stepped onto the wood pile. After taking in several quick consecutive breaths he pulled and ultimately crawled onto the roof. Searing pain ripped through his shoulder and tears fell down his cheeks from the agony.  
When he finally made it to the window his brain was barely functioning enough to knock. 

As soon as Phil heard the familiar knock and opened the window Dan practically fell in. He could immediately tell something was wrong. Something was very wrong. “Oh my god Dan what happened?!” He grabbed Dan’s arm to help him up but instead the boy screamed and pulled away. Phil backed off several feet. Dan stayed curled up on the floor. He was breathing hard. “Christ Dan what did he do?”  
Phil knelt down next to Dan and laid a hand on the boys shoulder. He leaned into the touch and sobs escaped his throat. “Come on. Come here. I’ll help you stand.” Realizing that one of his arms must be injured Phil grabbed the other and helped him to his feet. He guided Dan to the bed and they sat. Dan covered his eyes and hunched over. Phil rested a hand on his back.  
“Dan, please tell me what happened.” He whispered pleadingly.  
Dan replied in between sobs. “Wha-what can I say? He was m-mad because I didn’t make dinner last night.”  
“That can’t be all. Why would he do all this to you for something that stupid?” Dan shook his head. “So that wasn’t it? What else was he mad about?” Phil moved closer. Dan looked up at him, eyes red and tears soaking his face.  
“He doesn’t ever want to see me with you.” Dan covered his face again and more sobs escaped. “I’m sorry, I don’t usually cry in front of people.”  
“It’s fine Dan.” Phil brushed the fringe from the other’s face. He put a finger under his chin and brought Dan’s head up to face him. “I’m glad you came to me.” Dan nodded and wrapped his good arm around Phil who held him back delicately. He rubbed at his back soothingly. “If your dad really said that then we’re fine.”  
Dan lifted his head. “What do you mean?”  
“Technically he won’t ever have to see me with you.” Phil smiled. “Right?” Dan’s sobbing came to a slow stop.  
“I guess so.” A tinge of hope evident in his voice. “All I know is I don’t care what he does to me your all I have. All that matters.”  
Phil pulled Dan closer, putting the boys head on his chest and hugging him to his body as tightly as he could. “You matter to me too.”  
They stayed like this for a long time. Dan’s heart rate had finally slowed, his tears stopping all together. The ache in his arm was more profound now that the adrenaline was gone. He shifted slightly under Phil’s arm and winced. Phil let his arms fall away.  
“We need to look at that.” He stood up and knelt before Dan. Carefully he took the arm and held it out. “Do you think its dislocated?”  
Dan tried moving it around. “No. I can move it, it just hurts.”  
“It’s probably just strained then.” Phil’s eyes caught at the purple bruise forming around Dan’s throat. “Oh my god.” He reached up, running his fingers over it. Dan flinched but held still. “We have to tell someone.” Phil stood up, pacing around the room.  
“No!” Despite the soreness, Dan rose. “I don’t have anywhere else to go. I don’t know any of my family or if they’d even take me. I’d probably spend the next four years in foster care and I don’t want that.”  
“Well neither do I but Dan look at yourself!”  
“I’m fine. Bruises heal.” He said his next words so quietly Phil almost couldn’t hear him. “And besides, now I have you.”  
“You would have me even if you were taken away. Phones exist you know. And I would come see you.”  
“Stop. Just stop. I don’t want to think about any of this.” Dan’s breathing quickened again. He felt like he was going to have another break down.  
“Okay okay. We’ll stop talking about it.” Phil wrapped his arms around Dan to stop him from trembling. The boy melted against him. He held his arms to his chest and buried his face into Phil’s neck. “How about another movie? I can go make some popcorn and I’ll bring dinner to my room. My parents won’t mind.” Dan nodded. Phil smiled. “You know, you’re going to have to let me go so I can get the popcorn.” Dan moaned irritably. “Or…you can put on a turtle neck and go down there with me.” Dan nodded again and Phil laughed, pushing the boy away gently.  
Downstairs Dan leaned on the counter. Thankfully Phil’s parents were in the living room watching TV so Dan didn’t have to pretend that he was okay. He watched Phil put the popcorn in the microwave, get a bowl out, and then also lean against the counter and stare back at Dan. He made a funny face which forced Dan to laugh. What had he done without him?  
The rest of the evening was spent leaning against pillows, watching movies, eating popcorn, throwing popcorn, and giggling uncontrollably. When the second movie had ended they just lay there on bed, arms touching. Phil’s hand was only centimeters away and Dan longed to entwine their fingers. Unsure however of how Phil would react, he resisted.  
“Have you ever been to a party?” Phil asked out of the blue.  
“A party? Uh, no. Don’t think so.”  
“Would you want to go to one?” Phil knew it probably wasn’t Dan’s thing but he wanted to ask anyway.  
“To a…party. With lots of bodies, probably under aged drinking, and crazy loud teens?”  
“I know it’s not your thing but Vinny asked if I would go to his party next Friday and it’s not something I really enjoy doing either but maybe if you went I wouldn’t mind so much.”  
“Mmmmm.” Dan contemplated. “I’ve never been so I can’t really say I wouldn’t enjoy it.”  
“So you’ll go?” Phil tossed his head to look at Dan. He really hadn’t expected Dan to say yes and the thought of him going excited him.  
“Yeah. I’ll go.” He smiled, although internally he was screaming with anxiety at the thought. School was rough enough but a party? He thought it might kill him but as long as Phil was there he would be okay.

The days leading up to the party were rough for Dan. He had to wear disgusting turtle necks for a week to cover his neck bruises. He was just glad it was winter. Almost every day he came home his father was angry. He knew Dan was going somewhere at night and he was aware that his son left to avoid him. Yet Dan wouldn’t stop. After every beating and making dinner for his father Dan left for Phil’s house and spent the night in an environment he felt safe and comforted in. Phil would run his finger’s softly over the new bruises and bandage up any bad cuts. It was a horrible continuous cycle and yet it was still easier than the life he lived before the other boy’s presence in his life when his father ignored him more than hated him. By the time Friday came Dan was just excited to get away from his house again.  
He met Phil at the end of his block so they could walk to Vinny’s together. Dan had decided on his typical outfit of black skinny jeans and a shirt that had various shades of black stripes. Oh, and a black zipper jacket. Phil however, although also wearing black skinny jeans had on a purple and blue tie-dye patterned shirt along with a jacket that looked like space. “Really?” Dan raised an eyebrow when Phil approached him.  
Phil grinned. “What?!”  
“You look like a fucking nebula.”  
“I look awesome.”  
“Whatever you say.” Dan smiled and they walked down the block side by side.  
They approached Vinny’s house by the time it was dark. Based on the loud music pounding inside the house, they were a little late to the party. Dan and Phil looked at each other nervously. When they walked in the front door the music vibrated violently in their chests. Dan did not like it. In fact, his mind went immediately to the memories he had of his father grabbing the knife, pinning him to the floor, turning on the stereo until Dan couldn’t hear himself scream and the feeling of his skin being slowly carved into as his father taught him a “lesson”.  
“Dan! Dan!” Phil was screaming in his ear to be heard over the music. Dan looked at him. “Are you okay?” He mouthed. Dan looked down and realized he was gripping onto Phil’s hand violently. He promptly let go.  
“Sorry.”  
Phil shook his head as if to say, 'its okay'.  
Dan forced himself to take a deep breath and look around. All the lights were on and people were dancing. There surprisingly weren’t that many people in the house from what he could tell. That provided a bit of comfort. He followed as Phil led the way to the kitchen where Vinny, a short guy with a cropped hair cut was drinking a beer. It didn’t appear to be his first either.  
“Hey! Dan! Phil! Glad you made it!” He shook hands vigorously with them both and offered them a drink. Phil shook his head and looked back at Dan who did the same. “My brother bought us plenty just have some!”  
“I think we are going to go downstairs.” Phil told him. Vinny shrugged and turned away. “Come on.” Phil grabbed Dan’s hand and steered them to a stair case leading to the basement. It was quieter down there but Dan’s ears still rang with the intensity of the music and it still pounded through the walls.  
“That’s a little better isn’t it?” Phil said sounding almost out of breath.  
“Yeah, a little.”  
“Do it! Do it! YEAH!” Voices whooped and chanted from a group in the center of the room. They sat in a circle around a bottle and two people were making out around it. Dan hoped to just sit on the couch in the corner unnoticed but they had barely stepped in the room when they were spotted. “Phil! Come join us!”  
Phil looked at Dan and shrugged. “Let’s just see what happens okay? Just remember you don’t have to do what they ask.”  
The last thing Dan wanted to do was join this group. All in all, this was just a horrible idea. Why had he come? How stupid could he have been? Oh god, he thought. He sat beside Phil in the circle and prayed he would just turn invisible any second. He hadn’t looked at who was in the group so when he heard Arran’s voice his head shot up. The boy grinned deviously at him from across the circle. Phil gave Dan’s pinky finger a quick squeeze without glancing at him. Dan groaned internally. Nothing good could come of this.  
They went through several rounds. Dan was just glad to stay out of this game for as long as luck allowed. Sooner or later though, it landed on him and it was Arran giving the demands. The look in the bully’s eyes said all Dan had to know. He had been waiting for this moment a long time. He wanted revenge.  
See, there was a particular reason why Arran hated Dan. It was the same reason his father did too. Dan was gay. Why that was such a big deal to some people he would never understand but to Arran and his father it meant he didn’t deserve to be breathing the same air as them. What would this boy do to cause Dan the most amount of trauma?  
Dan did not anticipate his enemies move.  
“Dan, I dare you to kiss Phil.”  
Dan’s heart kicked into overdrive and he dared look at Phil. The other boy was looking back at him and Dan saw the way he swallowed. Dan had thought about kissing Phil more times than his friend would probably want to know but Dan still didn’t know if Phil had the same feelings toward him. It could ruin what they have.  
“Well go on!” Arran was thrilled with the reaction of the two. It was exactly what he’d wanted; to humiliate Dan.  
“Dan?” Phil called him.  
“Um, yeah, sure. I’ll do it.” He looked back at Phil. Maybe nothing bad would happen. After all, they cuddled at night, and held hands sometimes. Regular friends didn’t do that, right? Phil had to have feelings for him.  
To Dan’s horror when he leaned toward his friend, Phil put a hand on his chest and stopped him. He shook his head. Dan pulled back.  
“I don’t want to do this Dan. I’m sorry.” The boy looked apologetic but it didn’t stop the pain that erupted through Dan’s heart. He had never felt so much agony in all his life. He drew as far away from Phil as he could in the circle. The rest of the group was making disappointed groans and Dan heard several say, “chicken”.  
“Dan wait.” Phil reached for him but Dan turned away, refusing to look him in the eye. He didn’t think he could handle it right then.  
For several round’s he felt Phil’s eyes boring into him. He ignored it. He didn’t follow Phil when the boy stood up and walked upstairs.  
“Okay Dan, you’re up again.” Dan wasn’t sure how long he’d been zoned out when someone poked him in the arm.  
He looked up. “Oh right. Okay. What do you want me to do?”  
“I dare you to play the knife game.” The boy making the dare was a stranger to Dan. Everyone made sounds of “Oh no not the knife game,” and “come on Erik isn’t that a little much?”  
“The knife game?” He questioned. “What am I supposed to do?”  
“All you have to do is put your hand out. Flat, like this.” The boy grabbed Dan’s hand for him and placed it palm down on the floor in front of him. “And then I take this,” from behind his back he brought out a knife with a four-inch blade and wooden handle. Dan drew back his arm in horror. No sooner had he done this though when someone forced his hand back out, holding it there. Dan’s fear suddenly grew into full on panic. The human part of his brain dissolved and the only thing he could think of was the animal instinct to run. He tried to yank his hand back but others joined in in holding his arm still. They laughed thinking he was just being over dramatic.  
“Don’t be such a chicken Dan! I do this all the time and I have never stabbed anyone.” The boy held the knife above Dan’s hand. “Ready?” He had a confident and amused expression but all Dan could see was the knife and all he could feel was his head pounding and his body being forcibly restrained. The music upstairs was still reverberating in the walls. He felt dizzy and the room swayed. His limbs were numb and he was trembling.  
“Whoa. Dan calm down. Dan? Guys I think you should let go.” The voice was distant but he felt his arms released. He quickly scrambled backwards until his back hit the wall. He wrapped his arms around his knees and tucked his face into them to stop the room from spinning. “Dan! Dan stop! You don’t have to do it just stop screaming!”  
Screaming? Who was screaming? A hand grabbed his shoulder and suddenly he did indeed hear himself screaming. The hand retracted but Dan couldn’t stop. He could still see the blade, heard the music…  
“Phil! Somebody get Phil!” There was stomping and yelling all around him.  
Dan didn’t comprehend what was happening. Everything was loud and his body hurt, just like when his father used the knife on his back. He was aware of the tears that now soaked his cheeks, his arms, his jeans. Was he still screaming? No, but there was still a deep grunting, wailing coming from his throat. Another hand touched his shoulder and he pulled even tighter into himself.  
“Dan? Dan you need to calm down.” He recognized the voice but it wasn’t a voice he wanted to hear right now. He shook his head, refusing to open his eyes. He tried to cover his ears too. “Guys can you please back off? I said back off! What the hell did you do to him?! Dan, Dan please listen. It’s Phil. Please open your eyes.”  
Dan scrunched in his toes and didn’t move.  
“Dan it’s okay. Everything’s okay. Can someone please tell me what happened?”  
“It was Erik! He was going to play the knife game and all of a sudden-” Someone tried to explain.  
“A knife? You idiots! Nooo. Dan it’s okay. They were just being stupid. They didn’t know. I’m so sorry.” Phil continued his soft murmurs. Dan felt a body press up against him and he trembled harder. Still, he felt the insistent warmth beside him. Dan moaned as if it was causing him actual pain. “I am so sorry Dan. So, so sorry.” Arms wrapped around him and a head rested on his shoulder. The arms rocked him back and forth like a restless baby.  
Dan wasn’t sure how much time passed before he finally stopped crying and wailing like an injured animal. Occasionally his body quivered. The panic subsided and he became aware of his surroundings. He kept his knees up to his chest and face in his hands but he listened to what was around him. He still heard music but the music wasn’t as loud. No one was talking. In fact, he didn’t think anyone was downstairs with him and…Phil. That’s who was holding him so close of course. He took in a deep breath and smelled the familiar sweetness of him. He absorbed it and let it calm him. He allowed himself to lean back against the body. Phil nuzzled his shoulder.  
“Dan? Please come back. No one is down here. It’s just me.”  
Dan allowed his muscles to relax. Phil’s hand reached up and swept his hair from his face. He forced his eyes open and glanced over. Phil lifted his own head, smiling at him.  
“There you are.” Carefully he took Dan’s arms from around his knees. He rubbed the top of Dan’s hand with his thumb. All at once his body released all his tension. He slouched against Phil’s chest. “I'm going to take you home.”  
“Okay.”


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shorter chapter but there's a first kiss involved...

Phil tried to convince Dan to sleep at his house that night but Dan insisted on going back to his own bed. If he thought about it too much he still felt the sting of rejection from earlier that night and he didn’t want to sleep in the same bed as Phil tonight. Not when he knew they didn’t share the same feelings. Before, he still had hope. Now though, Dan knew. Phil unwillingly went his separate way.

                Dan didn’t go to Phil’s all weekend. By the time Monday morning came around Dan was in more pain than he had been the day before Phil’s rejection. He hadn’t thought it possible. He could hardly breath with the chill of agony in his bones. Normally his heart flipped excitedly at the thought of seeing Phil that day but now he just kind of wanted to vomit. Still, he’d rather face Phil’s kindness than his father’s rage so he went to school.

At school Dan avoided Phil as well. Physically he stayed with him as usual but he didn’t stand close enough for their arms to touch and he wouldn’t look Phil in the eyes. He stared at the ground and his shoulders slouched. He wasn’t alert to any potential danger as he usually looked for. When Vinny slapped his back in greeting instead of flinching he didn’t react at all. It was as if he simply didn’t care anymore. Phil had gingerly touched his shoulder and asked if anything was wrong. Dan said he was fine and then immediately erected an invisible wall.

                After school Dan told Phil goodbye. Phil watched his friend walk away at a complete loss as to what to do. He hated seeing him like this.

He didn’t understand why Dan was acting this way. He thought at first that it was the trauma of he'd experienced at the party with the knife. When he thought about it though, he’d been acting weird ever since the stupid spin the bottle game. Phil hadn’t wanted to kiss Dan in front of all those people. If he kissed Dan it would be when the time was right and preferably in private. For those reasons he had refused the challenge.

                He still remembered the look of hurt that came over the boy’s face when Phil shook his head. He thought that Dan would understand but maybe he misunderstood. Guilt crashed through Phil at the realization because he knew it was true immediately. Phil had deep feelings toward Dan than went farther than friendship but last night it hadn’t appeared that way. He had to fix this.

                He chased after Dan who had already went into his house. He didn’t knock when he got to the door. He turned the knob all the way and silently stepped in just as he’d seen Dan do so skillfully. Phil had never officially met Dan’s father but Dan had always told him things would be worse if his father saw them together, especially with the threat and beating Dan had gotten recently.

                Once inside the dark house Phil closed the door and looked around. Knowing Dan’s father could be just around the corner made the quietness eerie. His heart thumped hard in his chest. Straight ahead the kitchen light was on so that’s where Phil tiptoed. He peeked carefully around the fridge and relaxed when he saw Dan grabbing a pan from a cabinet.

                “Dan.” He called quietly. Dan jumped and the pan fell noisily to the ground, hitting the counter and everything else it seemed on the way down. It spun around before finally coming to a halt. Phil stood there with a hand over his mouth. “I am so sorry.” He quickly bent down to grab it and set it gently on the stove.

                Dan’s eyes were wide and he jerked his head in the direction of the stairs. A groan came from a room with a closed door.

                “Dan I’m sorry.” Phil whispered furiously again, stepping towards the boy. Dan held a finger to his lips and glared at him. The bedroom door opened and a voice yelled down from the top of the stairs.

                “What the hell are you doing?! I was sleeping you disrespectful bitch!”

                “Sorry, I just dropped the pan on accident.”

                The man scoffed and slammed the door.

                “What the hell do you think you’re doing?” Dan gestured angrily. Phil had never seen him angry and he furrowed his brows. Dan took a deep breath and let his hands drop. “Sorry, it’s just, Phil, if he sees you we’re both dead.” His voice was calmer but his eyes still burned. Was he mad at Phil?

                “Dan I just came to talk to you.”

                “It’s not a good time. I need to make dinner and you _really_ need to leave.” Dan started pulling cans out of the cupboards.

                “It’s really important. I know why you’ve been acting weird. It took me longer than it should have to figure out why but I need to talk to you.” He grabbed Dan’s shoulders and forced him to face him. The other boy averted his eyes. Phil pleaded with him. “Dan why won’t you even look at me? Please hear me out. Will you listen?” Dan hesitated before nodding and forcing eye contact. “Thank you.” Phil let go of his shoulders. He didn’t know how to start this really. He hadn’t thought this far ahead. He decided on just going for it. “Last night at the party, I didn’t kiss you.”

                Dan huffed in shock, rolled his eyes. “That’s what you want to talk about?”

                “Yes, because that’s why you avoided me all day today isn’t it? I want to tell you why I didn’t kiss you.”

                “I know why you didn’t kiss me Phil.” Dan realized how passionate he was getting and glanced at his father’s door before continuing in a quitter tone. “You don’t think of me that way and that’s fine I just…” He sighed. The anger drained out of him and the ache returned. “I _do_ like you as more than a friend and I had gotten my hopes up and started thinking maybe you did too and I know I shouldn’t have but when you refused to kiss me last night I…it just really hurt alright?”

                “Oh my god Dan no.” Phil laughed. “You have it all wrong. Completely and entirely wrong. I do like you as more than friend. A heck of a whole lot more in fact. I think I’m in love with you and I know that’s a crazy thing to say since I haven’t known you that long really but all I want to do is make you happy and keep you safe and I’ve never felt that way about anyone. I didn’t kiss you at the party because when we have our first kiss I want it to be special and not because of some stupid game.”

                The seconds after Phil’s expression was silent. Dan was just looking at him, watching him, scanning his face. A tear slid down his cheek. He wiped at it and looked away, embarrassed. Phil smiled, using a finger to guide Dan’s face back to his.

                “Really? All this time you didn’t think to tell me any of that?”

                It was Phil’s turn to look away. “I know. I’m sorry. It’s kind of complicated.”

                “Complicated? What’s so complicated? I would have kissed you a long time ago had I known how you felt.” They both laughed.

                “My parents don’t even know I’m gay.” Phil admitted.

                “Seriously? You mean their perfect little boy has a secret from them?” Dan was shocked. Phil’s parents were the nicest people in the world.

                “That’s just it! What if they think differently of me after I tell them?”

                “Phil they are fantastic parents and they love you so much. That's not going to change how they look at you.”

                “You really think so?” Phil needed the assurance.

                “I really do.”

                Phil leaped forward and embraced Dan tightly. He nuzzled into the boys shoulder and spoke into his neck. “Oh Dan I am so sorry I didn’t make it more obvious earlier how I felt about you.”

                When Phil pulled back his and Dan’s eyes met. He couldn’t look away. He felt his heart pounding in his chest, his ears. Dan’s eyes were like black mirrors this close to his. He could see the fear, hope, and longing etched in them. For the first time Phil also noticed the innocence the boy still had. He let his gaze slip to his soft lips. He thought about all the times he’d resisted leaning closer, all the touches he restrained himself from making. He didn’t hold himself back this time though. Slowly, as if asking permission, Phil bent forward. Dan’s gaze flickered to his lips as well. Delicately their lips touched. His eyes fluttered closed. Phil reached up and cupped Dan’s face gently. He felt how nervous the boy was, how he trembled slightly under Phil’s fingertips. At first the kiss was clumsy and nervous and slow. Phil took initiative and controlled their movements. Dan immediately submitted under his guidance. The boy sighed and their lips parted and melted together again and again, confidence and desire growing. Dan pulled him closer by his neck. Phil immediately complied. He pressed against the boy and deepened the kiss by slipping his tongue past the other’s lips. Dan pulled away just long enough to take in some air before resuming where they left off. Phil pushed Dan until he felt his back hit a wall and the other boys hand gripped his arm and dug his fingernails into his skin. Their breathing became less controlled. Phil moaned when he realized how far gone they both were into this kiss. He thought that he should probably pull away but also that he _really_ didn’t want to.

                A voice growled behind them and they abruptly ripped apart. “ _Daniel_.” Dan’s father stood in the threshold of the kitchen. In a second Dan went from being completely lost in pleasure to fear bubbling through his veins. “What do you think you’re doing? Who is this? Is this-” The man folded his arms. “Ohhh. This is where you’ve been sneaking off to. Of course. I should have known it had to do with your _friend_.”

                “He is my friend.” Dan said quiely.

                “Right. I can see that. If I remember correctly I told you I never wanted to see you with him, especially not like this.”

                Dan swallowed hard. Phil wanted to grab his hand but feared it would set his father off. He had no idea what to do. He shouldn’t have done this, not here, not now. How could he have been so reckless?

                “Dan I’m sorry.” He whispered. Dan shook his head.

                “What did he say?” The man shouted.

                “He said that he was sorry but I’m glad this happened. At least now we won’t have to sneak behind your back.” Dan’s voice held venom and Phil wasn’t sure this was the best approach.

                His father laughed. “You bet you won’t because you’re never going to even look at him again.”

                “What can you do?” Dan stepped forward. He had never stood up to his father but he wasn’t going to say goodbye to the one bit of sunshine and happiness in his life just because his father said so. “There’s nothing you can do to stop us.” He regretted his choice of words immediately. Seeing the anger intensify in his father’s face he took a step back.

                The man didn’t say anything. Dan glanced at the drawer just as his father’s hand reached it, yanked it open and pulled out the knife. “No! Dad you can’t do this! Just stop!” Dan pushed Phil back toward the wall and stood in front of him, holding out his arms protectively as if this huge man in front of them couldn’t just break his neck anyway. His father held up the knife, chuckling.

                “I’m not going to hurt HIM! Who do you think I am?” He waved the knife around in the air.

                Phil’s voice shook. “Dan? We need to go. Just run. We can go to my house and everything will be okay.”

                The man shot an enraged glare at Phil. “He’s not going anywhere! You on the other hand-” He used the knife to point at him. “Get out of my house. Now.”

                “No. I’m not leaving him with you.”

                Dan looked back at him. “Phil just go okay? Everything will be fine.” Then he mouthed so that his father couldn’t see. _Get help_.

Phil slowly shook his head, barely able to get the words out. “I can’t.”

“Yes, you can, please just leave.” Dan didn’t know if he would be able to find help in time but he thought if anything else, at least Phil would be out of this situation before it got worse.

“Out!” The man bellowed.

“No.” Phil said firmly.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Phil comes out at home and school. Also Dan is nervous about some pda and Phil shows him that it's no big deal

Before Phil could comprehend what was happening the man lunged forward. For a horrifying second Phil thought he was going to be stabbed but he was only knocked to the ground. Dan screamed above him and his father shoved him to the floor. Phil was just standing again when the man held back his leg and kicked Dan solidly in the ribs twice.

                “Dan!” He called out.

                The man grabbed Dan by his hair and pulled back his head. “What happens next is up to you. Remember that.” He whispered furiously in his son’s ear. He then looked at Phil. “You stay away from him.” Then he walked out the front door, slamming it behind him.

                Phil was at Dan’s side in an instant to help him to his feet. “Dan are you okay? Please tell me you’re okay.”

                “I’m okay. Better than usual actually.”

                Phil was confused. “Why?”

                “I’ve never had anyone to help me up off the floor after he kicked me.” It was meant to make Phil laugh. He didn’t.

                “Oh Dan.” Phil wrapped his arms tightly around Dan. “I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have come here. I should’ve waited or at least had the self-control to not shove you against a wall and make out with you while he was in the house.”

                Dan laughed into his neck. “I rather liked that part.”

                “Okay me too.” He admitted, pulling away and looking intently at Dan. “Now let’s go to your room and pack up your stuff. I’m not letting him hurt you anymore.”

                Dan looked at him for a few moments, thinking, and then nodded.

 

Dan brought his stuff to Phil’s. He only had a backpacks worth. Some clothes and essential Pokémon plushies. He didn’t know what was going to happen at this point. Phil insisted that they tell his parents so later that night at dinner Dan explained his situation. He didn’t look at them in the eye the whole time. He was embarrassed for some reason. Phil’s mom had stood up with tears in her eyes and gave Dan the longest hug he had ever experienced. They welcomed Dan to stay as long as he needed to but that soon he would have to get in contact with family that would take him in.

                For now though Dan didn’t want to think of any of that. 

                The days following his abandoning his father were tense. Dan worried constantly that his father would appear, probably when he was alone. If he went out the front door, Phil was with him. He didn’t go anywhere by himself. Even at school he was looking behind him. He thought maybe his father would have called the school and told him he was missing or asked if they had seen him but no one said anything. Phil tried to comfort Dan but he couldn’t tell him that his father wouldn’t show because he wasn’t so sure himself. He too wondered how long it would take for the man to realize he wanted his son back. Not because he loved and cared for him but because he needed someone to take his anger out on and cook his meals.

                Dan certainly enjoyed his time at the Lester’s though. He always had a warm meal and a comfy bed. He could get used to cuddling and kissing Phil as well. They watched TV show’s or movies every night. Currently they were watching an anime. Well they _had_ been watching it until Phil decided to change into his pajamas and Dan, seeing him shirtless and suddenly needing to touch that bare skin, had tackled him to bed and now they were passionately making out.

                Dan lay beneath Phil, his hand on his shoulder, pulling him down onto him and gasping for breath whenever Phil decided to be brave and let his hands wonder a bit on the other boys stomach and chest. Phil’s fingers were venturing higher and higher until his finger’s grazed Dan’s neck and he couldn’t help the sharp intake of breath. His mouth opened wide in pleasure and Phil chuckled softly.

                “Looks like I found a sweet spot.” He watched Dan grip the sheets beneath him as he caressed his collarbone, neck, chest, and then back up. Just as he leaned back down to start the kissing again the front door open. “Crap.” Phil grumbled, dropping his head and resting it on Dan’s chest who grunted in response.

                “You need to just tell your parents.” Dan wiggled out from under him to fix his clothes which had somehow gotten twisted and his hair which was ruffled in every direction.

                “Even if my parents knew I was gay I wouldn’t want them to walk in while we were doing that.”

                Dan chuckled. “Then I’d start with putting on a shirt and fixing your hair.” He threw a T-shirt at Phil who quickly pulled it on when he heard footsteps coming up the stairs. “Seriously though Phil, just tell them.” He whispered seriously. Phil huffed.

                “Tonight?”

                Dan shrugged. “Why not? Honestly Phil what’s the absolute worst thing that could happen?”

                “They reject me as a human and their son.”

                “That won’t happen. And even if it did we can both go live under a bridge happily ever after.”

                Phil sighed, rubbing at his face with his hands and groaning. “Alright. I’ll do it.”

 

At dinner that night Dan nudged Phil’s foot under the table. It took pestering him several times before the boy looked up at him. Dan caught his eye and nodded in the direction of his parents, trying to indicate telling his secret. Phil shook his head and went back to the mashed potatoes. Only a few minutes later he felt his shins being kicked a little harder this time. Phil glared at Dan next to him and had barely returned to his food when a finger jabbed into his ribs and he dropped his fork, causing everyone at the table to jump.

                “My goodness Phil what is up with you tonight.” His mom laughed. “You’re so tense.”

                Phil glanced at Dan nervously who mouthed, _go on!_ He anxiously ran a hand through his hair and rubbed at his eyes. He knew Dan was right but then why was this so hard?

                “Phil? What’s wrong?” His father asked.

                “I have something I want to tell you guys.” Phil forced the words from his mouth before he could change his mind again.

                Both of his parents looked at each other nervously, setting down their silverware. His mother placed both palms on the table, preparing herself. Phil looked at Dan again who nodded encouragingly. He couldn’t seem to find the words so instead, Phil took a deep breath, looked from his parents and then back at Dan before abruptly leaning over and connecting their lips in a forceful kiss that Dan was obviously not expecting and therefore made an unsuspecting grunt.

                Phil pulled away and looked back at his parents whose jaws dropped slightly. After several seconds of silence, he thought that maybe he should speak. He cleared his throat. “Um…so yeah.”

                “You’re…” Phil’s dad started.

                “Yeah. For a while now actually. And Dan is my boyfriend. Well, we were friends at first but as of about a week ago…yeah.” Phil scratched at the back of his neck.

                “Honey why haven’t you said anything?” His mother sounded a little sad.

                “It’s not exactly an easy thing mom. I didn’t know how you guys would take it.”

                “I would have thought you knew us better than that Phil. Your father and I, gosh, we love _you_. The fact that you like guys is just another fact about you as a person. Just like the fact that you like coffee or a particular movie or that you’re a kind person.”

                His father spoke up. “Your mother’s right. It changes nothing in our view of you. You’re still the same person only now we’ll feel like we know and understand you better.”

                “Really?” He felt a huge weight taken off his shoulders that he hadn’t realized he was carrying. He felt lighter.

                “Or course! My goodness Phil.” His mother shook her head but had a smile on her face.

                “I told you.” Dan grinned at him and pushed at his arm. Phil smiled back.

 

Back in Phil’s room he collapsed on the bed in a fit of laughter. Phil thought that it must just be his way of releasing all this energy he had stored up along with the secret.

                “Thank you Dan.” He leaned over and gave him several hard pecks on the lips.

                “You weren’t going to do it! I couldn’t let you get away with it! Although seriously? You could have at least warned me that you were going to kiss me.”

                “I’m sorry! I couldn’t think of what to say so-”

                “Uh-huh. So that’s what came to your mind? Hey, I’m not complaining.” Dan winked. Phil rolled his eyes.

                The lay there for several minutes in silence, eyes closed. Dan sighed heavily and Phil turned to look at him.  The boy looked suddenly stressed.

                “What’s wrong?”

                “I just can’t stop thinking about my dad. He’s going to show up at some point Phil. I know he is. I just wish he’d get it over with.”

                “What if you’re wrong? Maybe he’s just letting you go.”

                Dan scoffed. “That’s not something he does. I think he’s mad because he’d rather I died than my mom. He’ll always hate me and he’ll always want to punish me for existing. And then he found out I was gay and he _really_ hated me. You just can’t win with him.”

                “In that case I have an excuse to never leave your side.” Phil squeezed his hand. Dan smiled back.

                “Hey, I know I haven’t wanted to say anything to your friends about us but maybe…maybe tomorrow we can.” Dan had been nervous about making more enemies or rather forcing Phil to join his seclusion.

                Phil sat up on his elbows. “Really? You want to?”

                “I mean…I’m terrified. I’m absolutely terrified but I’m tired of stopping myself from doing certain things with you at school just because people are watching.”

                “So I can hold your hand in the hallways?” Phil said excitedly.

                “Yup.” Dan nodded hesitantly.

                “Aaaand tell you I love you whenever I want?”

                “Especially that.” Dan blushed, still not used to hearing the words.

                “Aaaand slam you against the lockers and fiercely make out with you to make everyone else jealous?”

                Dan laughed loudly. “Maybe not t _hat_! I hate when people do that!”

                “Okay okay I’ll restrain myself. So wow, tomorrow.”

                “Tomorrow.”

                They slid under the covers and Dan tucked himself closely against Phil until blissful sleep overcame him.

 

They stood outside the front door of the school. “Ready?” Phil asked. In response Dan gripped his hand tightly and they walked through.

                They got the normal entourage of “how are you” and “hello’s” from people as they walked to their lockers. People glanced down at their hands and seemed as though they wanted to ask but weren’t quite sure what to say. Dan knew he looked even more shy and awkward than normal. Yet when he looked up at Phil the boy looked overjoyed and confidant. He really didn’t care at all how anyone looked at him. It made Dan stand a little straighter and hold Phil’s hand a little tighter.

                When they approached the circle of Phil’s main group of friends the group took one look at them and burst into a whoops and whistles. It took Dan back for a second and he his cheeks flushed red. Phil saw his embarrassment and laughed before planting a kiss on his forehead.

                “It’s about time you two! What took so long anyway?” One of guys shook his head.

                “Wait, you guys knew?” Dan’s eyes widened.

                “Um, duh. I’m pretty sure you guys were the last to know.” The group erupted in laughter and Dan couldn’t help but smile a little. Phil had been right all those weeks ago, he really wasn’t as invisible as he thought or hoped.

                The next few days at school Dan slowly got more comfortable with his and Phil’s now public relationship. Even Arran seemed to have a more respect towards him suddenly. Instead of glaring at him every time their eyes met and Dan glancing away, it was Arran who averted eye contact. Still though, Dan wasn’t as open as confidant as Phil was with certain things. Like kissing. Kissing was something Dan much preferred to do in private and anytime Phil leaned into give him even a peck on the cheek he ducked and smacked his arm.

                One day though Phil had had enough of his boyfriend’s shame. “Aw come on Dan. I thought-”

                “I already told you I didn’t want to kiss you here!” Dan realized how loud he had spoken and people turned to look at him. Some snickered. He folded his arms and felt his cheeks blush.

                “Dan _no one_ cares.”

                “You said yourself that you don’t like it when couples make out in the hallway.” Dan rebutted.

                “Yes but I’m not asking to make out with you I’m asking to give you a little…” He pushed Dan against the nearest locker and gave him an abrupt kiss on the cheek. “Peck on the-” He kissed him again on the forehead as Dan tried to push him away. “Cheek!” He finished by pressing their lips together.

                “Phil!” Dan swatted at him.

                “What Dan? Are you ashamed to be seen kissing me?” Phil stepped closer, a smile playing on his lips.

                “ _No_. Phil…what are you-”

                Phil put a hand on Dan’s chest to pin him to the locker.

                “Philip Lester don’t even think about-”

                He didn’t get to finish though. Phil connected their lips and went immediately into a passionate wet kiss that even in private him and Dan didn’t usually engage in. Dan brought his hands up to hit Phil in the arm or anything he could do to get him off really but instead his hands gripped onto the other boy’s shirt desperately and deepened the kiss even more. That’s when Phil pulled away though, his lips red and the biggest grin on his face.

                Phil saw the shocked looked on Dan’s face and laughed. “Wasn’t so bad was it?”

Dan swallowed and shook his head. “I suppose not.” He remembered where he was and looked around at the crowd who honestly, wasn’t even paying attention to them in the slightest.

“See? No one cares.”

After school Dan and Phil walked home holding hands as usual and laughing. Dan was starting to think his father really was going to leave him alone. He had let his guard down the last couple of days. What he didn’t know was that that was exactly what his father had been waiting for. He was completely unaware of the figure lurking far behind them, watching, waiting. They reached Phil’s house, walked inside and had just gotten to the top of the stairs when there was a knock on the door. Dan didn’t think twice about it. Neither had Phil. The boy quickly made his way back down the stairs and swung open the front door.

                The smile on his face evaporated at the site of the man standing there. Dan saw the look on his friends face and walked down a few steps to see who was at the door. He stopped mid stride and his heart skipped a beat.

                “Dan maybe you should go back upstairs.” Phil called back. But Dan didn’t move.

                “Dad?” He said barely above a whisper.

                “Hello Dan.” His father looked angry. Angrier than Dan had ever seen him and Phil was standing in his way. Dan realized this and finished his descent down the stairs to stand beside him.

                “You can’t be here. Get away from my house.” Phil tried to sound threatening.

                “Your house? Your house?!” The man yelled, balling his hands into fists. “That’s my son!” He pointed at Dan who flinched. “I told you to stay away from him and what did I come home to? Nothing. He was gone, everything was gone. You abducted him.”

                Phil laughed. “Right. If that’s how you want to put it then go ahead.”

                Phil’s father opened his bedroom door. “What’s going on? Who’s here?” He called down the stairs. He noticed the way Dan was clutching at his sons arm and furrowed his brows. He saw a man standing outside looking as though he had been drinking and realized who this must be.

                “Dad.” Phil said, sounding relieved. He came down to stand behind the two boys at the door.

                “If you are who I think you are you better walk away right now.” He told the man.

                “Look, that is my son your holding hostage in your house. He needs to come back home.”

                “You can say anything you want, I’m not letting your son return home to you. Not ever.”

                Dan looked up at Phil’s father, shocked. No one had ever stood up to his father like this.

                “Dan come, we should go.” Phil tugged on his arm.

                “Don’t you dare Daniel. If you don’t come with me right now you’re going to regret it. I promise you that.” Dan froze at his father’s threat.

                “Get your foot out of my door and your ass off my property.” Phil’s father shot back.

                “That was your warning.” Dan’s father wagged his finger in his direction and then turned and walked away. Phil’s father slammed the door shut.

                “You don’t have to worry Dan. He’s not going to do anything to you. Your safe here.”

                Dan wished he could believe him.

 

Two weeks passed and now Dan more anxious than ever. Almost every night he had nightmares. Dreams of things his father had done to him and what he could do. He saw images of his father choking Phil, cutting Phil’s back while Dan was tied to a chair or lying on the floor. Phil would shake him awake when he started screaming in his sleep. Sometimes Phil’s parents heard him and they’d burst into the room to find their son holding and comforting him. They offered to get him help but Dan refused. He didn’t want a therapist, he wanted to be able feel peace again. He had had it for such a short time after he left his father. But he could never have it, could he? Every time he looked at his body it was a reminder. The scars on his arms, his back. He could never escape. Even at school he worried his father would show up. When he could, Phil’s father drove them to school.

                Worst of all was Dan’s fear of his father hurting Phil and his family. Would he do that? Dan thought the worst of him though.

                There was only one thing that would get rid of the overwhelming anxiety and certain safety of the Lester’s; going back to live with his father.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Phil convinces Dan to stay using something other than his words.

“Dan? Dan please look at me.” It was getting late and Phil was worried about Dan. Something was wrong. He had been different ever since his father showed up weeks ago but something else had changed today. The boy was staring blankly at the floor as he laid belly down on Phil’s bed. He was shirtless, which he rarely did. He still didn’t like even Phil to see the scars. His hand dangled off the bed while the other stretched back, feeling the jagged marks.

                It seemed to take all his energy to look up at Phil.

                “Can I lay down?” He asked Dan nodded and repositioned so that Phil lay on the other side of him, also on his stomach. They stared into each other’s eyes for a while. They both seemed to be searching for something in the other person’s gaze.

                Phil reached his hand up and gently grazed it over Dan’s back, feeling the bumps. Occasionally he stopped and rubbed a fingertip over one. Dan closed his eyes.

                “Please tell me what you’re thinking.” Phil pleaded. He was scared. Dan forced his eyes open.

                “I don’t know if I should.” He admitted.

                “It’s like you’ve shut your brain down. I can’t tell what you’re thinking anymore and it scares me. You’ve shut me out too.”

                “No I haven’t.” Dan insisted.

                “Yes, you have. You don’t talk anymore. You don’t touch me anymore. It’s like you’re a robot.”

                Dan sighed. “I’m sorry. I don’t mean to. I still love you. I still would be a mess if you weren’t here. It’s just…”

                “Just what? Please, I want to help.”

                “I’m just scared too. Of my father. I’m scared he’ll hurt you or your parents to get to me and I can’t let that happen.”

                Phil’s heart flipped. “Dan you’re not thinking of going back are you?” He sat upright, panicking when Dan didn’t respond right away. “You can’t go back. There’s no way he’d come back here. We would call the police. And we have a security system so he can’t just break into the house. We keep the doors locked and no, Dan, your safe here. _We_ are safe here.”

                “That’s just it though!” Dan jumped to his feet, throwing his hands in the air. “You guys shouldn’t have to live this way! I can’t stay here forever Phil. I have to confront this. It’s only going to get worse. You can’t follow me around every second for the rest of my life. One day he will have his chance. I’m going crazy just sitting here waiting for him to do something! I can’t take it anymore.” Dan turned his back on Phil, feeling hot tears pricking behind his eyes and not wanting him to be seen crying in front of him again. Phil remained silent for a little while. He saw Dan’s shoulders shutter with the effort of hiding his emotions. He got up and stood behind him.

                Dan refused to turn around, refused to let Phil see him break down. He had already seen Dan in his most vulnerable state. He was tired of being seen this way.

                “Dan.” Phil whispered and wrapped his arms around Dan’s waste.

                “No.” The word barely squeezed from his tight throat.

                “Don’t go. Please.”

                His breath was warm on Dan’s exposed shoulder.

                “I have to.” Dan insisted quietly but didn’t move.

                “No you don’t.” Phil stepped closer, pressing his chest against Dan’s back. Dan stilled. Phil let his chin rest on the other boy’s shoulder. “I love you.”

                A wave of warmth spread through Dan’s body. “I know you do. I’ll still be right around the corner, just like before.” He said the words but he was distracted by the fact that Phil had placed his lips on his collar bone. He placed several kisses there and then just above his spine on the back of his neck. Dan held his breath. He had never reacted to someone’s touch like this. Not that he had ever been close enough to someone for a touch like this to occur. He let out the breath he had been holding. His thoughts seemed to go fuzzy.

                “I like you being right here.” Phil whispered in his ear. Dan shivered and felt Phil smirk on his suddenly very sensitive skin. Phil’s fingers played with the edge of his shirt, tickling his skin.

                “ _Phil_.” It was both a warning and an expression of the pleasure he was feeling. Phil caressed his stomach lightly while brushing his lips along his neck to Dan’s ear and breathing on his skin. Dan released a breathy moan. “Phil don’t.” The words were nothing more than air escaping his open mouth. His eyes closed and he tilted his head to allow Phil more access. The boy gladly took advantage of it and began sucking at a spot on his neck. Dan clasped onto the hand that still played on his stomach, halting its teasing motions.

                “Do you really want me to stop?” Phil murmured and let his other hand skim up Dan’s ribs under his shirt and over his chest. His finger’s stroked against of one of Dan’s nipples. The boy crumbling under his touches tightened his muscles in surprise. The unexpected pleasure made Dan take in a sharp breath. Phil moaned into his neck in response to his sounds.

                “What are you doing?” Dan asked, trying to come back to his senses but with everywhere Phil’s body was touching him it was impossible. His skin seemed to be on fire, his heart pounded, and there was a dull buzzing in his ear. He relaxed his grip on Phil’s wrist, allowing it to continue up his body. He didn’t care about anything other than the other boy’s hands and lips. He tried to remember exactly why it was he wanted to leave in the first place.

                Phil placed his hands on Dan’s shoulders and gently turned him around. He searched his face briefly before connecting their lips in a soft kiss, ghostly kiss. Phil was always gentle with him anyways but this felt different to Dan. It expressed everything he felt for him in a single action.

                “I’m kissing you, that’s what I’m doing.” Phil said into Dan’s open mouth, letting his tongue slip past his lips to explore. Dan was nervous and aroused all at the same time. His actions were a little clumsy but the calm, confident boy before him remained patient and slow. His hands also started to venture, caressing Dan’s arms, ribs, chest, stomach.

“Whatever you’re doing, don’t stop.” Dan finally replied. Phil didn’t hesitate before deepening the kiss, pulling Dan into him. It was as if he had been awaiting the words. The soft caresses became needier. His hands moved faster and seemed to be trying to touch Dan everywhere all at once. It overwhelmed Dan, his brain couldn’t keep up. He wrapped his arms around Phil’s neck.

Dan gasped, breaking the kiss when he felt fingertips just under the fabric of his jeans. Phil pulled him flush against his body, making it suddenly obvious to Dan just how urgent they were for this to move along. He let a hand rest under Phil’s shirt, digging his nails into the skin on his ribs. Now it was Phil’s turn to have his breath catch in his throat.

                “I’m taking this off now.” Dan’s said. His breath shook with nerves and excitement as he pulled away long enough to tug Phil’s shirt off. He threw it over his shoulder and reconnected their lips. They were both panting and desperate and Phil undid Dan’s jeans.

“Alright then.” Phil smiled when he saw the bulge in his boyfriends pants.

“Shut up.”

He stepped towards Dan, forcing the boy to step back until he fell onto the bed. Phil caught himself on his hands above him. Below him hands scratched up and down his chest desperately. He couldn’t seem to touch enough of him. Phil moved his lips back to Dan’s collarbone and rocked his hips forward a little. The much wanted contact made Dan drop his head onto the comforter and arch his back. Phil did it again and Dan moaned.

                “I think this should come off too.” He started messing with the buttons on Phil’s jeans. Phil nodded and stood to shimmy them off. He then tugged Dan’s jeans off before returning to his position above him. He used one hand to hold himself up while the other ran up down the boys flushed body. He continued moving his hips against Dan. He reached down and palmed at Dan through his boxers, appreciating the shuddering breath’s it elicited. Dan moaned almost constantly and dug his fingernails into Phil’s back and shoulders. Phil hung his head next to Dan’s when he felt a warmth growing quickly in his abdomen.

                “Dan.” He exhaled in warning.

                “Yeah, me too.” Dan focused on moving his hips faster and harder until he heard Phil’s breaths catch and knew he was orgasming. Dan quickly followed, pulling Phil close and moaning loudly his ear as he came in his pants.

                Phil collapse on top of Dan burying his face in his neck as he came down from his high. They lay there for a minute catching their breath. He rolled over to be beside Dan and searched for his hand.

                “Wow.” Dan said, staring at the ceiling.

                “Uh-huh. That wasn’t even sex.” Phil said in surprise.

                Dan laughed and repositioned to his side to put his arm over Phil who rested a hand on his waist and looked at him. “I love you so much.”

                Dan leaned in and gave him a lingering kiss. “I love you too. Can I take a shower though? This feels kind of gross.” He shuffled his hips.

                Phil gave a little laugh. “Does this mean you won’t leave?”

                Dan smiled. “Did you do this just to seduce me into staying?”

“That depends, did it work?”

Dan peered at him for a long time. “I’ll stay.”

                Phil pulled him close and wanted to cry in relief. “I promise everything will work out.”

Dan nodded against his chest. “I know. I’ll always be safe with you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope it didn't end too abruptly! There is an epilogue and I hope you enjoyed. Please give me any advice. Since this was my first time writing fanfiction is was obviously also my first time writing any kind of smut so don't hate me if it was bad. I'll improve with practice. Thanks so much for reading!!


	8. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it's not much but I felt like the story needed a little more closure.

“It’s not too bad here.” Phil leaped onto Dan’s new bed and rolled. “See? I think it’s the same size as mine even.”

                “Yeah…but there’s one big problem. You’re not going to be sleeping in it.” Dan stood at the doorway of his new room. He was moving in with his aunt and uncle today. Phil’s parents had done their research and found Dan’s uncle’s phone number. When the man found out about his nephew’s situation he immediately offered to take the boy in. His aunt was just as willing the arrangements had been made faster than Dan would have really liked. The couple was nice and had a townhome just a couple miles from Phil’s house but he quite enjoyed living with Phil.

                “Don’t worry I’ll be over here so often you’ll be sick of me.” Dan rolled his eyes and joined Phil on the bed. Phil gathered the other boy against him. “I really will miss having you available to hug and kiss at all times. Anytime you need to come over though or you want me to come over just call. I will run over and climb in your window and snuggle you to death.” He shoved his face in Dan’s neck and tickled him. Dan laughed and tried to pull away.

                “Okay, okay. It is pretty nice here.”

                “And now that your dad’s in jail you won’t have to worry.”

                Dan sighed. “Yeah. It’s still weird but you’re right. This is all for the best.” He flipped his body over to face Phil who rested a hand on his boyfriend’s hip. He kissed him gently.

                “When we graduate next year I’m going to get a job and buy us an apartment in the city and we are going to live happily ever after.” Phil promised.

                Dan grinned. “I can’t wait.”


End file.
